


She's Always Been Here

by The_Whistler



Series: Robots, Walter Girls, and All Shades of Matter... [1]
Category: Steam Powered Giraffe
Genre: Gen, Humor, Mystery, Robots, Science Fiction, Suspense, Walter Girl Bunny - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-06-01
Updated: 2013-08-03
Packaged: 2017-12-13 16:22:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 34,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/826314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Whistler/pseuds/The_Whistler
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Jon, Sam, and Upgrade return from the first few months of their travels to find absolutely nothing has changed in Walter Manor. Nothing at all. Really.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I couldn't resist getting in on the birth of a canon... Walter Girl Bunny is in the house... Of course she is. She's always been there, sillies.
> 
> Disclaimer: My Walter Girl Bunny is now, as of Chapter 18, so far removed from Bunny Bennett's idea that I might as well change her name. Little late for that, though. Hey, she's got dark hair, poofy skirts, and doesn't take crap. That's something. But she leaves Paige to Rabbit and has other interests...

Jon was worried.

They'd only been gone a few months, before coming back to tell the others what they'd seen so far. Time did funny things in his head, but he was certain of it. Sam and Upgrade said so, too, and he could trust them. Sam was nice, and Upgrade's new chip had made her more reliable about things like that. The maternal programming on it meant she wouldn't lie to him for her own amusement. He could see her struggling with it sometimes, but she hadn't figured out yet how to override it. It had also made her more flirty with men, which had made things awkward when they met Professor Elemental...

But that wasn't why Jon was worried. It was the Lady...

There had always been ladies in the manor... Mothers, sisters, Walter Girls... She looked like a Walter Girl... sort of... only taller. Taller than Jon. As tall as Rabbit. That was easy to notice because she was always staring Rabbit down. That was worrying, too. And confusing, because the next moment, Rabbit's strange and uneasy expression would relax into a smile, after which he would often link arms with her and they would go do something to The Spine.

Everyone assumed Jon was too goofy to notice anything important. He usually liked that. It meant he could say anything he wanted to and only the other robots would get mad... and only then if he said something he knew would make them angry. That was fun.

But he did notice things. Right now he was noticing a new lady in the manor, which wasn't serious... and he was noticing that everyone seemed to think she'd always been there... and that was scary.

He tried asking Upgrade, while the others were out of the room.

"Upgrade? Do you remember her being here before?"

"What's that, Jonny?" Upgrade responded pleasantly. She grimaced immediately, gripped by an internal struggle. With a sigh, she resumed her pleasant tone. "Well, now that you mention it..."

"Upgrade!" called Rabbit, putting his head around the doorframe.

"Just a moment, Jonny dear." She grimaced again, shivered, and walked over to Rabbit.

Jon crept after them and peered around the corner into the hall. Rabbit was standing with Her, speaking to Upgrade. The Lady didn't speak, but Rabbit always seemed to know what she wanted to say. Jon watched, eyes wide, as Rabbit leaned over and said something into Upgrade's ear. There was the smallest flicker of violet in her eyes, and she smiled and nodded. Jon ducked back around the corner as Upgrade returned.

"Now what were you saying, Jonny? Of course I remember Walter Girl Bunny."

Jon felt sick. His koi was whipping around like an oscillating fan.

"Of course I do, silly darling." Grimace. Relax. "She's always been here."

\----------


	2. Got to Sandwich

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything's fine... just fine...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just ask Sam.

Jon was running. He hadn't waited for Upgrade to finish her sentence.

Sam was still unloading their things. He had to find Sam.

Jon sneakers squeaked loudly as he skidded to a halt just before the front doorway. Sam was outside, holding a couple of small cases under his arms. The Spine, Rabbit and Walter Girl Bunny were chatting with him.

Jon couldn't speak. If he yelled out a warning, they might do something terrible. He didn't know what they'd do, but he'd seen plenty of movies. They get to everyone in the house, acting all friendly, then they all gang up and pounce on the last one... and it looked like that last one was going to be him.

He couldn't help it. He started to wail.

Sam turned just as Rabbit was leaning toward him. "Jon?" he called, walking inside. "What's wrong, buddy?"

The Spine, Rabbit, and Bunny all looked at each other and slowly followed. Jon's eyes grew wide. He tried to tell Sam as fast as he could but he was sobbing so hard he couldn't speak.

They were almost to the doorway. Jon grabbed Sam and gasped, "Bunny! Where... where'd she come from?"

Sam chuckled. "Well, when a man and a woman love each other very much... nah, joke, sorry..."

"Sam!"

"What's wrong, Jon?" asked The Spine.

"Yeah, big guy... ain't ya glad to be home again?"

Bunny smiled. Jon took a step backward.

"Upgrade been lettin' ya have a little too much sugar, The Jon?" asked Rabbit, grinning. "So, Sam, as I was about to say..."

Jon yelled hysterically, "No... nothing to say! Got to sandwich! Hungry... Sam?" He caught Sam by the arm, causing him to drop the cases, and dragged him down the hall toward the kitchen.

"Jon! Ow!" cried Sam. 

In the kitchen, Jon whispered, "Walter Girl Bunny is new and they think she's not new an' she was always here only she wasn't! She wasn't! Sam! You know she wasn't!"

"Well, yeah, she's what, in her mid-twenties?"

"So why do they think she was always here?"

Sam sighed. He'd traveled with Jon for months, and toured with him for longer, and found it hard to take him too seriously. "Maybe they just mean she's... I don't know... indispensable or something. I don't think it's anything sinister..."

"But she doesn't talk!"

"She's a mime."

"Mimes aren't real!"

Sam laughed. "Yes, they are. She's just really dedicated, I guess. Or she could be mute... that does happen, y'know." He looked sternly at Jon. "You're being kind of insensitive, if that's the case. You don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, do you?"

"No..." sighed Jon. He shouldn't have hoped. Sam didn't usually take him seriously anyway.

"Besides," Sam said, giving Jon a pat before leaving the kitchen. "They're right. She has always been here."

He left. Jon, staring after him, sank to the floor.


	3. It's Just Like a Movie...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And even now, nothing to report. Smooth sailing. Same old, same old. Yeah.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why, I remember back in the day, good ol' Walter Girl Bunny used to... y'know, that thing she always did... broke me up every time. Good times...

Jon sat alone on the kitchen floor.

"Got to hide..." he whispered.

Where could he hide, though? Rabbit knew all of his hiding places. The only place with a door was the Hall of Wires... The Spine was usually there. Only not right now... he'd been with the others. Maybe there was a chance!

Jon was up and running the next second. He didn't know if they were in the hall, waiting, or on their way. He just ran. If The Spine wasn't there yet, he could lock himself in. What he'd do then, though... he didn't know.

There was no time to think it through.

The door to the Hall was open. It was always closed when The Spine was inside! He darted in and slammed the door behind him, falling against it and turning the lock.

"The Jon? You in there, pal?"

Jon jumped three feet into the air. Any other time, he would have been proud.

The doorknob jiggled. "The Jon? You haven't met Bunny..."

"Yes, I have!" Jon squeaked. He clapped his hands over his mouth.

"You haven't been formally introduced. She wants to meet you properly."

That sounded like The Spine. Then he was outside the room! Jon slid down the door and sat at the bottom of it, trying not to cry. At least he was safe for now...

"Jon?"

But sooner or later, they'd give up trying to be nice, he thought. He knew how it went. They'd break the door. Of course they would. Stupid, they're robots, too, he thought. Why did he always forget the important stuff?

"Open the door, Jon..."

He put his hands over his face and waited.

Something strong wrapped around his wrists and waist, lifting him off the floor. Before he could scream, he was face to face with The Spine.

"He's here, Rabbit."

"You were outside!"

"You mean me?" came The Spine's voice through the door, followed by Rabbit giggling.

Too scared to be angry about being tricked, Jon struggled against the wires. The Spine reassembled himself and opened the door.

"Now, what's all this about, Jon?" asked The Spine, arms folded, as the wires slowly lowered Jon toward them. Jon squeaked in panic and tried to paddle through the air away from them. The Spine put his hand over his eyes, Rabbit snorted and Bunny shook with silent laughter.

"Aw, come on, The Jon..." Rabbit crooned. "Come and meet Bunny..."

"No!"

"She has something she wants to say to ya."

"She doesn't talk!"

"Sure she does... in her own way."

Jon was down at their level now. Rabbit came closer. Jon plugged his ears and tried to sing, to drown them out, but no words came.

"Lalalalalalalalala!" Rabbit reached for Jon's hand. Jon twisted away. "LALALALALALA!"

"For crying out loud..." muttered The Spine. He grabbed Jon's arms and held them down. Jon started screaming. A wire snaked around his mouth.

"Alrighty, then," said Rabbit, looking around at the others. He rubbed his hands together. "We good? M'kay. Jon?"

Jon whimpered. Oily tears trickled down his cheeks. Rabbit rolled his eyes and leaned in close to his ear.

Over Rabbit's shoulder, Jon saw Bunny. He started to look away, and stopped. She looked back with a strange expression... Worried? Sad?

She smiled... encouragingly? He didn't understand...

Rabbit's voice, when he whispered, was lower... like Rabbit's and yet not. It was... nice...

"It's okay, Jon," it breathed in his ear. "Don't be afraid."

"What?" Jon whimpered, trembling.

"I've always been here."

For a second, Bunny's smiling face flickered purple.

 

"Come along, Jonny," called Upgrade. One eye twitched. "Kazooland is waiting."

Jon bounced out of his chair in the kitchen.

"Bye, Jon!" said Brianna.

"I hope Kazooland is as much fun as Europe!" Paige added, beaming.

"Bye, Paige! Bye, Brianna! Bye, Bunny! I'll send you all kazoos!"

"Well..." Paige began. She and Brianna looked at each other. Bunny just laughed her silent laugh. Jon giggled.

"Well, maybe two kazoos an' a slide-whistle instead! Or a goose-horn! You can be Walter Girl Harpo!"

"Jon!" cried Paige and Brianna together.

Bunny clapped her hands happily. Jon hugged each of them and ran out.

"So long, Jon!" called Rabbit, strolling into the kitchen. Bunny stared at him. Rabbit stared back. Bunny turned back to her sandwich.

Rabbit stared at nothing. "Well, that was easy," he murmured. His voice was low, almost sultry.

"What?" cried Brianna, eyes wide.

"Say something else, Rabbit..." Paige said, enchanted. Brianna poked her.

Rabbit blinked, as if waking from a trance. He looked at them and grinned. "What?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: This is the end of this little episode, but we have a few ideas here, my teenager and I... There's a lot of potential in a mute, unpredictable character, which is how I see Walter Girl Bunny. Bunny started this apparently thinking it would just be a bit of fun... It's taken off in a big way. The number of fan drawings is insane... I even did one, sort of. I made him a bishounen instead of a girl (pretty close). I don't care if he ever dresses up like a Walter Girl, the way a lot of people want him to do (yes, "he" because Bunny says it's okay so there). And I think the idea of Walter Men... well, the way I'm picturing their costumes, they just look like soda jerks or old timey pharmacists (same thing), so maybe someone has a better idea for that... Anyway, I think Bunny has underestimated the power of one suggestion on a group of doting fans. I guess my little story is something of a metaphor for that. Rabbit was always there... Bunny was always there, and at one suggestion, through the power of human thought, WG Bunny inserts herself into the canon. Wow, that sounded deep. Wait'll you read the other stories we're cooking up here. Nothing deep goin' on there, no shipping (alright, I take it back, it sorta snuck up on me... yeah, there's a little) or anything like that. But hopefully, a lot of laughs.


	4. But Before All That... The "Birth" of Walter Girl Bunny

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two days earlier... Rabbit got a new special friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This should explain a few things... or completely muddy the whole situation. Not sure which.

_What am I doing?_ thought Michael.  _I'm gonna blow the whole place up if this goes wrong..._

He slipped his goggles up on top of his head and leaned forward against the table, checking and rechecking his data, glancing up from time to time to squint at the container of glowing purple stuff sitting in the center of the testing area.

Purple Matter... From the day he had discovered it, he had been trying to find out just what exactly it did. They all knew about Blue Matter… it had brought robots to life... actual consciousness, sentience, functioning far beyond providing power for their machinery. And Green Matter was... well... another matter entirely.

Michael snorted with laughter.  _Crap, I'm laughing at puns. I gotta get some rest._

Laughing at puns was Rabbit’s territory, and Rabbit was the last guy… well, the second to the last guy… that ought to be playing with mysterious, volatile substances.

Michael dropped his goggles onto the desk, switched off the device, and went to bed.

The Purple Matter hummed softly on the little table in the center of the silent lab, flickering from time to time with tiny sparks. 

Another hum rose to join it. The sound grew slowly into a measured series of noises... buzz... hiss... clank... buzz... The sounds stopped.

"Anyone awake?"

The noises resumed. A robot entered the lab.

"Hello...? Michael? Aww, nuts." The robot sighed.

Into the thunderous near-silence that followed came the two most terrifying words ever to be uttered in Walter Manor.

"I'm b-b-bored."

 

Michael Reed didn't get the sleep he needed. He never really counted on it anymore, anyway.

He was woken by what sounded like rushing wind flipping the pages of an enormous book. He didn’t get sleep; instead, he got the sight, in the light of the nightlight he wisely employed for night time disasters, of something standing by his bed like an independent shadow, changing every couple of seconds into forms that were... well, the one thing he was sure of, that he could feel in his gut, was that whatever the figure was at any given moment, it was him… every time.

He reached a trembling hand toward it, but jerked it away before he could touch. Between each form, he could see a brief but vivid spark of purple light.

  _No..._

 

He bolted for the lab as screams echoed around him...  Brianna… Paige… Hatchworth. He heard The Spine shout his name and even heard Peter Walter VI cry out in alarm from whatever distant lab or study he currently occupied. He was just glad Jon, Sam, and Upgrade hadn't come yet for their visit.

The cries continued as he went, until almost everyone in the manor had been represented, but he didn’t stop for any of them.

He had a theory boring into his mind even as he ran. It was really just the gelling of many speculations and smaller experiments, brought to a near-conclusion by this event. He had suspected Purple Matter was connected to space-time, possibly being part of the matter that made up the fabric of the universe. The skin that separated the possibilities. This seemed to be confirmed by the sight of every possible Michael Reed cycling through his bedroom.

If he was quick enough, maybe he could stop it before anything could develop an anchor in their reality, thus all the figures would disappear. And if he was right, if he was lucky, it should only require that he flip down a switch that curious hands had flipped up. From the cries he had counted while running for the lab, he knew whose curious hands he’d find. The rest of him would probably be there, too.

Rabbit stood near the purple matter sample, smiling at something that was, like the thing in Michael's room, passing through infinite possibilities. And just as Michael's had all been familiar, so were Rabbit's... One moment, it was a startled-looking translucent robot, the next, a tiny robotic rabbit, then a bald woman, a pirate with a broken sword, a man wearing eye makeup, a black cap and striped, fingerless gloves, a kitten wearing a tinfoil hat (where did that come from?), a carrot, a two-headed man (one wearing a wig), a robotic two-headed man (one wearing a fedora), a Walter Girl, a mime, a Walter mime...

Michael lunged for the switched just as Rabbit, sporting a huge grin, reached for the Walter mime. There was no time to stop Rabbit from touching it. Michael threw the switch.

There was a loud buzz followed by a sharp popping sound from somewhere outside. Power shut off throughout the manor. Michael called into the blackness, "Rabbit?"

"We're over h-h-here!" Rabbit called merrily. "Come and say hello!"

Michael froze. _We? But how? Everything should have disappeared…_

He turned slowly to look in Rabbit’s direction. Michael jumped, uttering an unexpected squeak of terror. Illuminated only by the lights from Rabbit's photoreceptors, was a pale, wide-eyed face framed in black hair.

"Rabbit...” he gasped. He dimly remembered that the Japanese portrayed ghosts as looking this way… a recollection that did nothing to soothe his nerves. “You n-need to back away from it..."

"’It?’ Michael! Where's your m-m-manners?"

"Where’s my manners?” cried Michael, realizing, to his horror, that he could just see Rabbit holding the thing’s hand. He’d given it an anchor! “Rabbit! Just… please, just listen to me…"

“Your eyes glow! Um… where am I?” Rabbit breathed.

“What?” _Great, now he’s malfunctioning!_

“You’re in Walter Manor!” chirped Rabbit.

“Well, yeah…” Michael said, suddenly weary. He’d gotten what, maybe five minutes’ sleep? _Too much_ , he decided, _because now I’ll wonder if I ever really woke up…_

The pale face gaped. “How did I do _that?_ ” Rabbit asked prettily. “Oh, I did it again!”

“Uh…” Michael began.

“This is amazing!” Rabbit giggled. “So… what’s Walter Manor?”

“It’s my home!”

“Your home is dark?”

“It’s not always like this. We got lots of lights. Say, why d-d-don’t you stay here, too?”

“Rabbit!” Michael cried.

The face smiled.

“Can I be your sister?” Rabbit said sweetly.

“Okay, seriously, Rabbit, you’re freaking me out!” Michael said through clenched teeth.

“Sure! I never had a sister! You sure have a nice voice,” said Rabbit.

“No, _you_ do,” he answered himself, giggling softly.

“Hey, thanks!”

“Rabbit!” shrieked Michael. The face winced.

“What?” Rabbit shrieked back, turning toward him. “Stop yelling! You’re scaring Bunny!”

Michael was close to hyperventilating, “I’m scaring… who?”

“Her name is Bunny. She’s my sister.”

“No, she isn’t! You don’t have a sister, Rabbit… and… and… if you did, she would be a robot, not a… a what… what _is_ she?”

“She’s a mime, Mikey! Bunny, come and say hi.” He grabbed Bunny’s hand and started to walk toward Michael.

Michael backed away frantically, nearly falling over the chair, and they stopped. All he could see now was the glow of Rabbit’s photoreceptors.

“But _what_ is she?” he pressed. “Really?”

“A mime! See the paint?” Rabbit turned toward Bunny again, lighting her face once more. She smiled and waved.

“A mime isn’t a life form!”

“I’m a biological mime,” Rabbit purred.

_That is_ so _wrong, in so many ways_ , thought Michael. “Rabbit! We have to reactivate the machine and see if we can send her back to wherever she came from!”

Rabbit looked at Michael. “Where she came from? Why?”

“She doesn’t belong here, Rabbit!”

“But… but… where does she come from?”

“Well… I don’t know! Another dimension, I think…”

“Is that true? Do you want to go home?” asked Rabbit sadly, turning back to her.

“Bunny” looked at him with wide, frightened eyes and shook her head. Wherever she was from, she was clearly not interested in going back.

“Don’t be silly!” cried Rabbit’s voice, brittle and unnaturally shrill. “I belong here!”

“You’re not from here!” cried Michael. “I don’t know what it will do to the fabric of the universe if we keep you here. You’re from another… well, somewhere else! I don’t really know! But you have to go back!”

“No!” Rabbit was almost screaming, his body rigid as she put both hands on his face and stared into his eyes, his voice no longer his own. “No, I come from here!”

“Let him go! Stop doing that to him! You don’t belong here!”

“I do belong here! This is my home!” Tears streaked her white face, sparkling in the blue and green light. Panic and despair filled Rabbit’s voice as it shrieked, brokenly, “I’ve _always_ been here!”

There was a flash of purple light.

 

Michael blinked. Everything was yellow…

No, that wasn’t it… there had been a flash of light. He remembered everything now.

The lights came on in the lab. Rabbit and Bunny stood near the dish holding the Purple Matter sample, only… Michael gasped.

“Where did it go? Rabbit?”

“What?”

“It’s empty, Rabbit! Don’t _touch_ things!” He sighed irritably. “Bunny, can’t you keep him out of trouble?”

Bunny’s eyes widened. Her mouth formed an O. She pointed to herself and raised her eyebrows.

“Yes, you! You’ve been here long enough to know how much trouble he can get into.”

Rabbit looked from Bunny to Michael. “I g-g-guess she probably figured it out pretty quick…” he said slowly.

“Look, just get him out of here,” Michael said. “I’ll collect a new sample tomorrow. I’m too exhausted right now.” He fixed Rabbit with a severe look. “Not again, Rabbit? Understand?”

“Alright, alright…” Rabbit said, mystified, leading Bunny out by the hand.

Michael flicked off the lights and followed them out a moment later, sighing in irritation. Rabbit and Bunny were looking at each other and giggling… though he could only hear Rabbit doing it.

“Don’t stoop to his level, Bunny…” sighed Michael. “We don’t need a psychotic Walter Girl here.”

Bunny nodded vigorously and saluted dramatically as she and Rabbit turned and bolted up the corridor.

“Let’s start with The Spine!” Rabbit giggled as they ran. “Everyone else should be easy after that!”

“Rabbit?”

They ran around the corner. Michael shook his head. He’d be cleaning up after some prank come morning, he just knew it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... I figure by the time the whole thing got to The Jon, it was going pretty smoothly... then suddenly it wasn't. And Bunny felt bad about it, especially when she saw him cry, but she didn't see any other way. Just a quick whisper and he'd be all better... I expect it's kinda like being a nurse. Rabbit, on the other hand, had no sympathy at all. I have five brothers... so believe me, I know how they act...
> 
> Taken all together, it was bound to look sinister, though, huh? Just like a nurse.


	5. Old Friends Who've Just Met

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh, children of Earth, gather around. Yes, pull up a seat, and sit on the ground. For I know a story, and I'll tell it well... about an inter-dimensional girl bio-mime... and how she ended up in Walter Manor with robot brothers and stuuuuuuff...
> 
> Yeah...
> 
> Bunny gets used to her new home. And a hint of why she wanted so badly to stay...

After a week in her new home, Walter Girl Bunny was sure she’d made the right choice. She’d thought nothing could be weirder than her old home. She’d found out otherwise. She’d also thought nothing could be worse than her old home. There, so far, she had not been discredited.

These people were just wonderful. Weird, and wonderful. She could have searched her whole world and not found a better place to live.

Even better, _they_ would never find her here.

It hadn’t been horrible all the time. Only people who don’t know what horror is think that their lives are horrible all the time, she decided. It had certainly been a quiet place. There had been sound, but no one spoke. Of course not. They lacked the power. They were mimes.

She’d first heard the word “mime” here. They had words in her world, written language, but they just called each other people. Rabbit had shown her mimes. They were people in makeup. They pretended there were walls and wind and drinking glasses where there weren’t any. It was weird. He even told her that he was sometimes mistaken for a mime, until people saw the steam come out of his cheek vents. He giggled a lot while he told her that… he loved the looks on their faces when they found out. He said it was like Doctor Who showing people the inside of his T.A.R.D.I.S.

She had been confused.

They ended up watching a lot of Doctor Who after that. She liked Doctor Who. He talked a lot.

The Spine was different. People didn’t think he was a mime. They always believed he was a robot. She got the impression he was jealous of Rabbit for that… considering The Spine looked a lot more human.

She liked The Spine, too. She understood what it was like to want to be something else, somewhere else, to desperately want to change your lot in life. She knew he and Rabbit had been hurt, too, just like her. Maybe not in the same way as she had, but just as deeply. There was an understanding in their photoreceptors when she became frightened by something new and clung to them for safety. They were the perfect adopted brothers.

Not that Hatchworth was bad. He was just different. He, like Bunny, had been trapped for a long time, alone, as she had often been and more often felt. He had not been able to cry out for help or comfort… at least, no one could hear him any more than they could hear her. And they had both been set free! So he was special, too.

The humans were harder to understand. They were nice, but strange. Steve ran around with a doll a lot of the time. Everyone said the doll was alive, and she’d seen weirder things, but it looked like he was moving his mouth when it spoke. She’d seen him at one of the band’s concerts, though… he moved his mouth while the robots sang, too. It was his way, apparently.

Michael Reed had been nicer to her after a full night’s rest. He’d been surprised to wake up to find the Manor intact, and once he’d checked everything over, was very friendly. He, like the others, thought she’d been there her whole life, it seemed, once she and Rabbit had told them so.

The Walter Girls were the hardest to deal with, at first. Rabbit had helped her quickly make the room next to Paige’s look inhabited so as to create the illusion she’d been there a long time, but there was more to being one of them. They seemed to have their own rhythm as a group. She was sure she’d never be able to blend into their world, but once they all thought she was one of them, somehow their seamless flow of getting things done opened up to make room for one more, Walter Girl Bunny, mute. It seemed there were a lot of Walter Girl duties for which being mute made you particularly well suited.

Taking meals to Peter VI was one of them.

He had been a problem for her and Rabbit. How she could, with a focused whisper, persuade everyone else in the Manor that she was one of them, she didn’t know. It wasn’t a mime ability. It didn’t work with anything else, so far. She hadn’t been able to persuade The Spine to give Rabbit his fedora, for example. And she was trying really hard. The Spine just thought Rabbit was being annoying, pushed him in the face, and went back to reading Melville.

But between the recent accident that had left him hospitalized, and his old habit of disappearing into random, distant rooms of the house, Peter A. Walter VI proved the hardest of all to reach. As soon as he’d been released from the hospital, not long before her arrival, he’d come home in the middle of the night and resumed his habit of vanishing into the depths of the house for days on end. She and Rabbit had been unable to find him early enough to prevent the awkward meeting that occurred when Paige asked her to take him his lunch. The way Paige remembered it, she’d done it many times before. So Bunny, smiling the best she could through her panic, had picked up the tray and walked slowly to the study on the map Paige had provided. It was that kind of house.

She stopped to look for Rabbit for a few minutes, to no avail. He and his brothers were still out performing in the park. She’d wanted to go, too, but decided instead to stay behind to get used to working with the other girls. It had seemed like a good idea at the time.

 It was easy enough to look in through the open doorways to make sure she hadn’t overshot the right room, and sure enough, at the place Paige had marked, she found a sloppy young man in a wooden mask.

She stared. So this was Peter VI.

“Yes, I’m here. I was wondering when you’d…” he began, looking up.

They stared at each other, man and mime, Blue Matter and Purple Matter. There was no question who would speak first… the only questions were when, and what.

“Well, then, I will. Who hired you?” he asked, irritation vibrating through his attempt at a pleasant tone.

She moved her lips feebly, unsure how to even form words.

“It’s alright, don’t be afraid. My, you’re pale.” He tilted his masked face to one side. “Great googly-moogly… you’re a mime!”

He bolted from the room, nearly knocking the tray from her hands. He was back a second later. He removed the tray, placed it on his desk, grabbed her by the hand and towed her rapidly down the long hall.

She was led to another study almost identical to the others in size, furnishings, and mess. He dug through a stack of papers and produced a large book, which he used to sweep off the bric-a-brac covering the desk. After a few minutes leafing through what appeared to be hand-written entries and illustrations, he jabbed a finger triumphantly at it and crowed, “I _knew_ it!”

 _Knew what?_ Bunny wished she’d gone to the park.

“Knew that you were a mime, of course! This is an entry made by Peter A. Walter I… my great-great-grandfather.” He read, “There is a dimension peopled by a silent race of pale-skinned humanoids. Whether their similarity to Terran mimes is a coincidence or whether these silent people were somehow the inspiration for them is unclear.” He shut the book and folded his arms in a manner that suggested smugness.

_Well, great._

“What? You can’t tell me anyone else has figured out what you are!”

Something was odd here, she realized. He was answering her. How could he be answering her if Rabbit wasn’t here?

“What does Rabbit have to do with anything? Wait… you haven’t told me how you ended up working for me.”

She wrinkled her nose, confused. Told him? _Told_ him? Was he crazy?

“There are those who would say that I was. Oh, you mean because you can’t speak. Let’s just say that my little accident has left me… well, different. It’s not all bad, I’m finding out. It’s changed my perceptions… So anyway, yes, I hear you. Well, sort of… more like I _read_ you.”

She stared at him, astonished.

“Yeah, so… what’s the story here?”

She could talk to him… no Rabbit the Robotic Puppet, no confusion, no lies… All at once, her story poured out of her, about the years of isolation and cruelty, about finding herself in another world with gentle, _loud_ , emotional people, the robot who said she could be his sister, the man who wanted to send her back, but even he only wanted to do it for good reasons… Here she paused, embarrassed. He’d wanted to do it for the greater good, and she and Rabbit had resisted. Now she faced what she had carefully pushed away for the last week, what she had been unwilling to think about before.

Suppose Michael was right to worry? Suppose something terrible happened? She wasn’t sure when Peter had had his accident… suppose there was a connection to that, too?

“Well…” he began, but was, after a fashion, interrupted.

Her face crumpled. She was glad to be there, of course. She was happier than she’d been… ever in her life. But it was new and strange and she might even have hurt people… She could still see the oily tears, the look of terror on The Jon’s face as The Spine and Rabbit, as brothers sometimes will, mercilessly held him steady to deliver her desperate message… poor, gentle robot, terrified, crying, just because she had wanted to stay. She’d never meant it to come to that.

It was the last straw. She shuddered with silent sobs.

“Oh, now… really…” Peter stammered. “It sounds like you had good reason… if it’s any comfort, I had my accident before you arrived. So really, if anything, your arrival may be my fault!” He forced a laugh. “See, that’s alright, hm?”

She sniffed loudly and looked at him for a moment before putting her hands over her face and sobbing afresh.

“Please…” he said desperately.

 _Typical man_ , she thought. _Tries to talk a woman out of crying._ At least, she thought that was a typical man. She hadn’t exactly met the best of them… the one she’d known best had usually tried to slap her out of it.

She was startled to feel arms wrap hesitantly around her. Gasping, she backed away and stared at him.

“Um… sorry…” he said sheepishly. “I thought maybe a hug… my mother always… I should have known it would upset you, what with the… your father and all…”

 _He wasn’t really my father,_ she thought, with a ragged sigh. _Sometimes even blood isn’t enough to bind people together…_ She rubbed her eyes and sniffled.

“Oh! Here…” He turned and scrounged through the room, at last producing a box of tissues. When she stared at him blankly, he pulled one out and offered it to her. “You use them to clean yourself up… like a handkerchief, y’know.”

She nodded and accepted the tissue.

As she wiped her eyes, he said, “Well, I guess we have a new Walter Girl. But I do have a bone to pick with Michael Reed. How could he be so thick? Right after my accident, too! How could he just leave a dish of Matter, any kind of it, laying around for Rabbit to find?”

_No! Don’t be angry with them… It was an accident, I’m sure…_

“Well, that’s kind of you, but you don’t need to worry. I expect it of Rabbit, and Michael isn’t in any danger of losing his job… I’m not sure we could get by without him, to tell you the truth. Never mind the regular repair requirements of those old robots… the man really knows his way around a song.”

_It’s not just that… Everyone thinks I’ve always been here._

She explained to him about the mysterious ability she had displayed in the lab, as well as its limitations.

“Seems we have a lot to learn about Purple Matter. Well, for what it’s worth, Miss Bunny, I don’t think you being here is going to cause a universal implosion or anything mildly troubling like that. If nothing has happened in the week you’ve been here, then I think the cosmos can cope.”

 _Thank you. Oh, don’t forget your lunch_.

“Right. Lunch. So…” He rubbed his neck. “You… uh… you okay?”

She smiled. _Yeah, I’ll be fine. Only…_

“Yes?”

_How do I get back to the kitchen?_

He laughed. The mask made the whole thing a little creepy, but it was a nice enough laugh, as far as she knew. “Well, let’s try and find the way. I know the place pretty well, but sometimes… well, the mask isn’t helping.”

_Do you have to wear it?_

The silence was… tense. She regretted asking.

“No, no, it’s alright… I don’t guess I _have_ to, really. But… It’s for the protection of others, you understand.”

_From what?_

“To be honest… I’m not sure myself. It’s kind of a new set of circumstances. My face… isn’t really there, not exactly… I can feel it, but to anyone else, there’s a vortex of blue matter there. No one but me can touch it safely. It’s probably dangerous to even be near it. I may even have to be shut in Hatchworth’s old vault! Or I’ll install a hot dog and a koi fish.”

He laughed, but Bunny just smiled sadly at him. He trailed off in a sigh. She tipped her head to one side, peering through the little keyhole. She couldn’t see blue. She just saw… a nose.

“Oh, surely not…” he said. “I promise you, no one can see my nose anymore. Just a blue vortex.” He paused before adding bitterly, “I’ve had any number of witnesses to that effect.”

_But…_

“I’ll show you the way back.”

 

When she got back to the kitchen, she found Rabbit, Hatchworth, and The Spine telling the Walter Girls about their performance in the park. She hugged each of them.

“Hiya, sis!” chirped Rabbit, leaning his chair back. “Where ya been?”

“I wouldn’t do that, Rabbit,” said Hatchworth.

“I was wondering if you’d gotten lost,” said Paige pleasantly. “Did you manage to get Peter’s lunch to him?”

Rabbit lost control of his chair and slammed, with a thud like a load of sheet metal falling from a  crane, flat on his back onto the floor.

“Told you,” said Hatchworth happily.

“What’s the matter with you, Rabbit?” The Spine said irritably.

“P-p-p-peter?” Rabbit cried, getting up.

“Rabbit!” cried Breanna.

"Peter Rabbit," said Hatchworth.

“Aw, would you look at that!" Breanna complained. "You broke the chair!”

She began to pick up the debris. The Spine’s eyes widened slightly and he abruptly sank down to help.

Rabbit rushed over to Bunny and looked at her searchingly. “What happened, Bunny? Your eyes are red! S-s-s-something happened!”

Bunny laughed. “It’s alright. I told him everything,” she explained, through Rabbit.

“Everything?” squeaked Rabbit, eyes widening.

“Like I said, it’s okay, Rabbit. He was really nice.”

The kitchen fell silent. Bunny frowned and raised her eyebrows, preferring to let her face do the talking this time.

“Well…” Breanna began, looking up. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone call him nice before…”

“Me, neither,” Paige agreed. “Guess there’s a first time for everything. You hungry, Bunny? We have extra sandwiches.” Hatchworth looked proud.

Bunny nodded and sat in an unbroken chair. Rabbit pulled up a fresh seat, leaned over the table, and stared at her until she began to feel uncomfortable. At last, he said, attempting to be serious but not quite managing it, “Alright. Fine. If you say he was n-n-nice, he was nice. But if he ever…  Tell ya what, if you ever need your big brother to b-b-beat anyone up, you know who to call.”

To their collective surprise, The Spine said, tight-lipped, as he helped sweep up chair shrapnel, “Any time, day or night.” Hatchworth nodded.

“Wow, you three…” cried Paige, laughing as she placed a sandwich before Bunny. “What are you saying, Rabbit?”

“I don’t say anything. No, sir. Not me. Just me p-p-puttin’ that out there on stage, seein’ if it floats.”

“I’m not a ‘sir’ and… What does any of that even mean?”

Rabbit sat back and folded his arms, still trying to look serious and big-brotherly. Hatchworth, seeing this, folded his arms and tried to look that way, too. Paige sighed and turned away.

Bunny grinned. _Oh, yes. This place just keeps getting better._

 

Back in his study, Peter VI paused in his work and stared, for a long moment, at his tissue box, before shaking his head and sinking once more into science.


	6. Pranks wif Rabbit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, one prank, anyway. Any more and The Spine would probably pull off Rabbit's arms and throw them onto the roof.

“Why are we playing tricks on brother?” Rabbit asked in a low, gentle tone.

“Because it’s f-f-fun!” he answered cheerfully.

Bunny watched Rabbit pick the lock on the closet door. She had been told that the Hall of Wires was the only room in Walter Manor that had a door. She’d found out that this was only the official story. There was, in fact, the odd door still remaining in place, wherever something just had to be kept in… or out.

The Spine, it seemed, was in possession of one such door. Rabbit, it also seemed, was the reason.

“He’s changed the d-d-d-doorknob again,” Rabbit muttered, wriggling the purloined nail file as he tried to figure out the inner structure of the lock.

Bunny ducked around to look him in the eye. “Paige isn’t going to appreciate you stealing her nail file, Rabbit…” he whispered for her.

“Get out of the way, sis…” he murmured distractedly. There was a soft click. “Nearly got it…”

 She moved aside. She didn’t really understand pranks, though Rabbit had told her, through hysterical laughter, about some of his favorites. They mostly seemed to involve The Spine.

Rabbit couldn’t explain why he targeted The Spine so frequently. Bunny had a few theories already, though she’d only been there a few weeks. They all seemed to lead to one unifying conclusion, one that she wouldn’t dream of mentioning to Rabbit…

Rabbit was jealous. She didn’t think he had good reasons to be jealous, but he had reasons. The Spine was very tall. He worked smoothly most of the time, as opposed to Rabbit’s frequent malfunctions. He had a strange way of frightening children (despite being very good with them if they didn’t run away before he had the chance to show it) which she hoped Rabbit didn’t envy, but he also had a way with women. A quick tip of the hat and a flash of a charmingly lopsided smile had been enough, on more than one occasion, to fix all female (and some male) eyes on The Spine.

There was another click. Rabbit chuckled with satisfaction and continued to work. “He found a good one this time…” he mumbled. He seemed to be enjoying himself.

She sat down on the mysterious bed and sighed. Of course, she reasoned, resuming her train of thought, Rabbit had his wiggle. It was a wonder he didn’t shake himself to pieces but somehow he held together. But she suspected the wiggle was just another manifestation of Rabbit’s sibling rivalry… a very effective one. She actually noticed an increase in flushed faces during one park performance after Rabbit got a little carried away dancing. She’d been puzzled that no one complained, seeing as how it was supposed to be a family friendly show… Rabbit, though, had insisted he picked the wiggle up in the 1950s, after having taken an obsessive interest in rockabilly, and that it had nothing to do with attracting human women.

That was another thing… and she was almost certain it was the cause of tonight’s prank. Rabbit insisted he had no use for human women.  Today, however, she had caught him glaring at The Spine after Paige had straightened his tie and pocket handkerchief, and had beamed her warmest smile at the results. It wasn’t the first sign she’d had that Rabbit wasn’t as exclusively mechano-sexual as he claimed to be… not that there was anything wrong with that.

Of course, the sudden need to prank The Spine it might have also had something to do with Rabbit finding out about Bunny’s universal remote… one of the few things she’d had in her pockets when Michael’s experiment pulled her into this dimension. She had offered to use it on the doorknob, but he had no interest in opening the door the easy way.

There was a third click, and Rabbit withdrew the nail file with a muffled giggle. He started to turn the knob.

“Oh, there you are…”

Bunny, startled, jumped off the bed and stood in front of Rabbit, but her skirt, though very fluffy, arrived there too late to hide Rabbit from Peter VI. She bit her lip nervously and tried to smile.

“What? Don’t worry, Bunny. I’m not angry with him. The Spine’s not even in there.”

“What?” cried Rabbit, dismayed. He cranked himself to his feet.

“It’s _Saturday_. Look, Bunny! I found an entry in another of Peter I’s journals… about your dimension. I didn’t know you could manipulate reality!”

“What does that m-m-mean?” asked Rabbit, arriving with a hiss of steam and a buzz of gears. He peered at the book.

“It means, in this case, that her people mime, but real things happen as a result.”

Uh-oh…

“Hm?” said Peter VI, turning to her. Bunny looked somewhere else and struggled to keep her thoughts empty.

“Oh, that can’t be right…” said Rabbit dismissively.

“What do you mean, it can’t?” asked Peter VI. “Your Pappy said so! Right there!”

“Aw, maybe he was joking. Pappy loved himself a g-g-good joke.”

“Not in his journals, he didn’t!”

Rabbit looked thoughtful. “Well, I’m sure it doesn’t w-w-work in _this_ dimension. Does it, _Bunny?”_

Bunny smiled tightly and concentrated for all she was worth. Peter VI was watching her, as far as she could tell through the inscrutable mask he insisted covered a blue matter vortex. It didn’t help that he could effectively read her mind. Sometimes that was nice, but right now…

“What are you two hiding? And don’t tell me it’s the prank… obviously I know about that.”

Bunny huffed in frustration, and realized she’d been holding her breath. Peter VI continued to “stare” at her. Rabbit looked back and forth between them, frowning.

_Stop it! Don’t you try and make me tell you things if I don’t want to! Who do you think you are?_

“But… if there’s something I need to know…”

Something he _needed_ to know?

“Yes, _need_ to know! This is _my_ house!”

Bunny lost it. Peter VI leaned away from her.

“Bunny! I didn’t know you knew words like that…”

 _I know all of them, Peter. I’ve been called enough of them… by someone a lot meaner than you!_ she told him irritably. _Maybe you need to learn how not to hear everything I’m thinking! We communicate this way all the time back in my world, and we know when to hold back. But it doesn’t seem to work with you and that… that swirly vortex of yours!  You have no control! You’re just… so maddening!_

He looked down at the journal uncomfortably. “Of course… I didn’t forget, you know, about the… the stuff you went through. Look, I wasn’t trying to bother you. I just wanted to show you the entry.”

 “Hey, someone let the Rabbit in. I can’t read minds, y’know,” said Rabbit.

Bunny glared at him. The prank had sounded kind of fun, but somehow the whole thing had just gotten weird and uncomfortable. She just wanted to go to bed.

“I just want to go to bed!” snapped Rabbit. “Oh… I’m sorry, Bunny… It’s okay if you want to go to bed.”

Bunny looked away guiltily. For a moment, in her irritation, she’d forgotten she could do that, but she was too angry to apologize.

“Well, um… I guess I’ll be getting back to my work. I’m sorry I bothered you,” said Peter VI. He walked out without looking at either of them.

Bunny stared after him, her eyes prickling. She blinked away tears.

“Well, h-h-how about we try again tomorrow?” suggested Rabbit pleasantly, taking her arm. “I know I can get in now…”

She sniffled and Rabbit looked at her. “Aw, don’t cry, sis! Pete Six didn’t mean to yell at ya. He was mad at me. We’ll just have to be sneakier tomorrow!”

Tomorrow… Maybe she’d feel better in the morning, maybe not… but right now, she had no interest in starting over tomorrow. She sighed, pulled out her remote, aimed it at the closet, and clicked.

Rabbit’s jaw dropped. “What did you do?” he asked quietly.

Bunny shook her head, in no mood to laugh… but she hoped Rabbit would enjoy the results.

 

The next morning, when Bunny woke up, Rabbit was running from The Spine, giggling like… well… Rabbit. And The Spine was shouting abuse at him in a high, squeaky voice, too furious too care that he was only making it worse.

Once The Spine had caught Rabbit and thrown his hat (with goggles attached) onto the roof, Bunny clicked her remote inconspicuously and restored his smooth baritone voice before going back to her room to get dressed.

On her bedside table was a note. She opened it.

“Sorry I was rude,” it read. “I’m not really a people person…”

 _A what?_ Human euphemisms were odd.

“I’m working on a way to keep from receiving so much through the vortex. Your thoughts aren’t the only things I’m picking up. Please be patient until I get the hang of it.”

Great, now she felt bad. She sighed.

“Until then, try this. You never know, maybe the crazies are on the right track. –Peter VI.”

 _He even signs notes that way._ She laughed silently as she picked up the tinfoil hat he’d left with the note. She slipped the hat on, laughing harder.

Rabbit burst into the room. “Bunny! Why’d you switch it off… hey, n-n-nice hat! Can you get mine down from the roof with your gizmo?”

Bunny smiled and grabbed her remote.


	7. Adaptive Programming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Spine attacks Rabbit. Oh noes!

Rabbit struggled for dear life, but couldn’t get free.

“Spine! Let me go!”

“No, Rabbit,” the titanium robot said coldly. “You’ve gone too far this time.”

Breanna ran in to the kitchen, following the sounds of screams and struggling. Rabbit was pinned to the floor, struggling in vain against his brother, screaming.

“Spine, no! Breanna! Get Hatchworth!”

The Spine turned his head toward her, his face rigid with anger. She bolted with a squeak of panic, running through the longs halls, screaming for Hatchworth. If The Spine had malfunctioned, gone rogue… Her eyes watered. She swallowed hard. Well, Hatchworth would be the only one besides Rabbit who could come close to stopping him. Maybe the two of them would be enough to get him into the Hall of Wires and shut him off for repairs.

Paige stepped out of her room, eyes wide. “Breanna! What’s going on?”

Breanna skidded to halt. “The S-Spine…” she panted. “He’s attacking… Rabbit! In… in the kitchen.”

“Oh, no! Rabbit!” Paige ran off.

“Paige, no!” cried Breanna. She swore in frustration. Where was Hatchworth?

She turned and found Bunny right in front of her. Breanna shrieked. Bunny put her hands on her hips and sighed.

“You scared me, Bunny… startled me… I was already scared. The… the Spine…”

Bunny nodded vigorously and held up her hand as if holding something… but the hand was empty.

“This is no time for mime!” cried Breanna. “We need Hatchworth!”

Breanna ran off, calling for desperately for the bronze robot.

 

Bunny watched her go, sighed, and ran for the kitchen, wondering all the while why they couldn’t see her remote. Well, no matter. If her big brothers were fighting again, she would go and take care of it. Really, these Walter Girls were very capable until something really big happened. She, on the other hand, could cope in a crisis.

She heard Rabbit’s screams taper off not long before she caught up with Paige near the kitchen. What brought them both up short was hearing The Spine speak after.

“Another thing, Rabbit…  since when is it pronounced ‘air-o-plane’?”

“Shut up!”

Paige and Bunny only hesitated for a moment. When they went into the kitchen, Rabbit was still pinned to the floor, The Spine seated calmly on his chest. Instead of being dented, damaged, pulled apart, Rabbit was trying to talk his brother into getting up. As soon as he saw them, though, he started whining, “Paige, Bunny! Where’s Hatchy? The Spine’s g-g-gone crazy!”

“No, I haven’t, Rabbit.”

The girls looked at each other uncertainly.

“What’s going on, Spine?” asked Paige.

“Don’t ask the rogue robot! He’s unhinged!” Rabbit cried. The Spine gave a slight bob of the knees and came down again on Rabbit’s chest. Rabbit grunted. “Cut that out!”

“How exactly does an airplane have a half-human baby, Rabbit?” ask The Spine conversationally.

“It comes out the b-b-bomb hatch!”

“Yeah, but you said it was a stork delivery. So… the bomb hatch… only how does it get there in the first place?”

Bunny felt something like a blush creeping up her face and a serious urge to go for a walk, but she stayed. What was going on here?

“That’s just n-n-nasty, Spine!” Rabbit scoffed.

The Spine bobbed again. Rabbit let out a half-blubbering, half-laughing, thoroughly not very convincing groan.

“Even if storks delivered babies, do you really think they’d knock?”

“Come on! I s-s-said I’d stop, Spine!”

“Talk is cheap, Rabbit!”

“I won’t ask about it again! I mean it, cowboy!”

“You always say that, maverick.”

“I’m s-s-sorry, alright! I know it’s a touchy subject!”

The Spine looked up at the ceiling for a long moment, sighed, and stood up. He seemed to have a hard time getting onto his long legs from so far down and Rabbit got one last bob in the chest.

“Oof! Uh… thanks…”

He stood up and dusted himself off. Bunny picked up Rabbit’s hat and goggles, thoroughly confused. She looked questioningly at Rabbit but he looked down sheepishly before she could form a question.

“Learn your lesson this time, Rabbit,” muttered The Spine, walking out of the kitchen.

Once in the hall, he turned, looked up, cried, “Hatchworth, what…” and trailed off in a surprisingly shrill scream as Hatchworth tackled him.

Rabbit doubled up with laughter.

Paige, who had been silent and staring for most of the scene they had witnessed, at last let out a strangled noise like a sob running into a laugh while trying to go back the way it came. “You… Oh, Rabbit!” Her voice broke. “I thought he’d malfunctioned and was going to tear you to pieces!” Her face crumpled and she ran out of the kitchen.

Bunny folded her arms as sternly as she could. Rabbit, staring after Paige with a strained but still amused expression, stifled his laughter as The Spine struggled in the hall.

“Hatchworth! What’s come over you?” cried The Spine.

“There, there, brother. We’ll get you to the Hall of Wires and you can have a nice nap…”

“Robots don’t nap!”

Breanna, trembling, came around the corner, saw Rabbit and Bunny, and reacted much the way Paige had. Instead of running away, however, she leaned heavily against the doorway for a moment to catch her breath and wipe her eyes, and then went to help The Spine.

Rabbit sat down on a kitchen chair. It creaked ominously. Bunny could tell he was still shuddering with laughter.

“What did you do?” she whispered through him.

Hatchworth was helping The Spine to his feet and dusting him off.

“Nothing! I just asked him a question, that’s all. A harmless little question, but he refuses to answer it.”

 _Do I want to know?_ thought Bunny.

Rabbit was still looking at her. “Do I want to know?” he murmured. _Oops._

He grinned wickedly. “No, but I do!”

The Spine, brushing off Hatchworth’s apologies, swept back into the room. “That’s enough, Rabbit! I’ll hang you from the roof, so help me!”

Bunny gasped. The Spine surprised her by looking embarrassed.  He cast a nervous glance out the doorway, where Hatchy and Breanna were watching him anxiously, and leaned over to whisper in her ear.

“He’s always asking about that upgrade I had in 1955. He wants to know how human they made me.”

Steam puffed vigorously from the back of his collar as he looked away.

Bunny stared at the floor while her brain assimilated his confession. Her mouth slowly formed an O.

Without looking at either of them, she went a got a glass of water and left to go to her room. Behind her, she heard a snicker, followed by another, “Oof!”  and an indignant cry from Rabbit. A moment later, the door to the Hall of Wires slammed shut.

She listened to Paige and Breanna snuffling in their rooms until Rabbit arrived with an apology and a handful of purloined daisies. Bunny decided what the manor really needed was doors and clicked her remote with a sigh. She would deal with Peter later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the record, even though I let The Spine pick at it, I adore the song "Airheart." 
> 
> I couldn't resist putting in a false "rogue Spine" red herring. I can see where people are coming from, seeing The Spine as having the potential to become dangerous and scary. It's kinda cool... but I don't have the heart to write such a tale. I'd originally intended this as a follow-up story to "What Is Life, and What Is Real" with Marie walking in to find The Spine putting Rabbit in his place for getting a little too curious about how a robot... with a human wife... well... ya know. Hee. Nudge nudge wink wink say-no-more.
> 
> Hey, don't ask me! That's their business. I wouldn't pry... ;)


	8. Chaos in the Manor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There were always pranks in Walter Manor. Sometimes they work their way out, too...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can not believe how hard this was to write! I still don't know if it's any good. It's different, I'll tell ye that. It's the fusion of a couple of ideas from my teenager (known on the internet somewhere or other as Nixxie Nobody) and expanded by me. She especially liked the idea of a bored Walter Girl Bunny at the merch table. I've squeezed in a few feels as well... I've got a thing for feels. Also, bear in mind that my spin on Walter Girl Bunny bears very little resemblance to Bunny's art or concept... that's why it's called fan fiction, hm? I wanted to mention that because I can't seem to shake this whole love/hate thing she's got going on with Peter VI. I do love a gawky nerd type finding an equally strange chick... and the whole thing just seems to want to go that way. Sometimes you have to push aside your first idea and listen to your characters.
> 
> Hope you like.

It’s amazing what a single drop of water can do to a flood…

One day, in the middle of the morning, just wanting a little peace and quiet, Walter Girl Bunny clicked her remote and put invisible doors in every empty doorway in Walter Manor.

And this is what happened next!

The first sign of trouble that Bunny noticed was a thud and a crack… about half an hour after she clicked the button. Rabbit had apparently chosen to hang around with Paige in the room next to Bunny’s for a while, and when he did see fit to leave, he broke the door. They all had a good laugh because no one really got hurt. Bunny, who had only meant to target her own door, assumed she had accidentally also gotten Paige’s nearby doorway, and didn’t trouble herself about it further as Rabbit made a comical show of removing the broken invisible door.

But the trouble had only just begun…

\----------

Peter Walter VI apparently had more than one mask.  That was a good thing.

Bunny and Paige were walking along a corridor following the broken door incident, when they happened to pass his study du jour. Paige started past but Bunny stopped to “say” hello. There was no reaction. Paige looked back.

“Come on, Bunny. He’s busy…”

Bunny hesitated and tried once more. _Hello, Peter!_

Peter looked up suddenly and turned toward her. He jumped up and hurried toward her, slamming full-on into a newly raised door and splitting his mask right down the middle.

Both girls gasped at what they saw. Peter recovered from his shock quickly enough to clutch the pieces to his face and whirl away from them. Paige covered her mouth, but Bunny began to laugh.

Unfortunately, she was just outside the invisible door of the one very embarrassed person who could hear her laughter. He turned, holding the mask together, directly toward her… presumably glaring. Paige hurried her away.

All over the manor, people and robots were discovering doors. Hatchworth broke several, walking straight through without noticing. The Spine found an extra door on the Hall of Wires after opening the visible door… second, invisible, and locked. He was able to make short work of it, unlike Michael Reed, who got locked in one of the labs and beat on the door for an hour before Hatchworth came sailing through it wondering what he was so upset about.

Bunny, entering the main part of the house with Paige, quickly worked it out and clicked them away… but not before half the manor had sufficient motive for revenge.

\----------

Pranks were an old thing at Walter Manor, almost a family tradition, going back to the days of the twins, Peters II and III. It was a tradition maintained by the robots… well, mostly Rabbit… and cheerfully supported by the current staff of young musicians and engineers. Sometimes it was the Walter Girls going around in circles, or Michael Reed and Steve Negrete would get going, but more often still, it was Rabbit, now with his adopted sister to add magic to his mayhem. He’d even been known to play the occasional joke on his own Pappy back in the day, though never with the fiendish glee that accompanied pranks on his brothers.

It was all in good fun. But that was before. Now, war had descended.

The first intentional strike, unsurprisingly, came against Bunny. Her remote disappeared for several hours, and when she got it back, the button was missing. Her first suspect would have been Peter VI, as she remembered with a blush the way she had lost it and laughed at him. However, he was out of the house getting his mask repaired from the time she set it down until she discovered it missing.

That left two possible culprits who had suffered enough and had the know-how to do it. Her remote was not easy to dismantle. She decided her big brother The Spine couldn’t be the one… he surely understood the situation. Plus, he took the high road even when he’d been pranked on purpose… unless Rabbit did it. So, that left…

Michael Reed.

She didn’t want to be mean about it. Nothing nasty or potentially dangerous. He had, after all, been trapped in his lab.

But no one touches a mime’s magical remote without feeling the mime’s wrath.

\----------

The next morning, Michael Reed woke to find every inch of floor around his bed filled with full disposable plastic cups of water.

“What? Yeah, very funny, Rabbit! Come clean this up!”

Silence. He attempted to squeeze his foot between a couple without success. Swearing, he tried creeping onto his bedside table, thinking of working his way to the dresser and from that to the doorway… but lost his balance trying to stretch from the table to the dresser and fell sideways into the collection of filled cups.

The splash, and the screaming, were truly impressive. So was the laughter outside the doorway…  robotic laughter, occasionally interrupted by the same voice executing a very human sounding giggle, fading slowly from hearing as the culprits fled the scene.

It was creepy and infuriating… but inspiring. Michael Reed decided, as he dripped quietly onto the smashed pieces of plastic cups, that if they could team up, so could he.

\----------

Later that day, Bunny’s remote disappeared again. When she got it back the next morning, the button was back… and the whole thing had been painted bright purple.

She was angry. It was great to have it back in working order, but violation was violation. She hurried to Rabbit to plan the next attack.

Rabbit was rehearsing with Hatchworth and The Spine in the little manor theater. Bunny took a slow, deep breath and sat in the house to wait.

“Left in the dark, what’s an old ro-bot to do?” Rabbit sang.

“Please explain!” sang Hatchworth and The Spine.

“What to do with this wild goose if there’s nothing to chase…” Rabbit went on, his voice slowly growing quieter.

Bunny frowned. Was the microphone broken?

“Please explain…”

Rabbit tilted his little microphone closer to his mouth and continued, quieter still, “What to do if the screw turns loose and…” The rest was inaudible. Rabbit clutched his throat, photoreceptors wide with alarm.

The other robots stopped playing. “Um, Mr. Negrete…” The Spine began. Rabbit flapped his mouth open and shut and pointed to his throat.

“It don’t understand it, Spine. His mic should be working,” Steve replied from his booth. “Make sure it’s the mic, would ya?”

The Spine walked up to Rabbit and said, “Test,” into his microphone. It came through clearly.

Rabbit, who had already known the source of the problem, sighed angrily, ripped the device from his face and stormed, quietly, out of the theater. Bunny jumped up and ran after him.

She caught him in the hall and turned him around to look him in the eye. He mouthed the question she tried to ask, silently, and stomped his feet in an attempt to have a tantrum.

She waved her bright purple remote in front of Rabbit. He took one look, quit stomping, and snorted with silent laughter.

She glared at him and nearly had a heart attack when Rabbit screamed, “It’s not funny!”

They stared at each other in mutual shock as laughter exploded in the hall behind them.

“Michael and Steve!” yelled Rabbit. “This is low even for you…”

Steve raised a remote of his own, punched a button, and Rabbit’s voice switched off. Rabbit kept on “yelling,” apparently too angry to care. He stomped around in a circle as he did, balling up his fists and waving his arms, occasionally turning to shake his fist at them. Bunny took a step backward. Michael and Steve watched, red-faced and weeping with laughter.

“Watch your language, Rabbit!” Steve gasped.

Bunny turned and lunged for his remote. He tossed it to Michael, who held it high, just out of her reach. Bunny aimed her own remote at him. Michael looked at the bright purple remote and snorted, breaking into fresh laughter.

“Come on!” yelled Steve, running around the corner.

Michael bolted after him, Rabbit and Bunny close behind. They cornered the two men in the kitchen. Three more Walter Girls ran in a moment later, following the thunderous racket from Rabbit’s running robot feet… just in time to watch in horror as Michael Reed, giggling with helpless mischievous joy, punched a button and Rabbit, who had been yelling silently, had his voice restored in time to let out a piercing shriek of frustration.

The humans clapped their hands over their ears. Everything glass in the kitchen and nearby hallways shattered instantly.

The Spine walked in, looked around, and sighed. “Not again,” he muttered, shaking his head with a rubberized squeak.

Rabbit’s mouth shut with a click.

\----------

By the time the mess had been cleared up and more drinking glasses ordered, all the Walter Girls had joined the fray.

\----------

Michael Reed came out of the shower the next morning covered in purple splotches. They didn’t wear off for a week. The same day, Steve Negrete found that all of his dramatic D&D music had been replaced with polka fusion.

Rabbit’s goggles were stolen from his hat and replaced with googly spring glasses. The Spine caught them all by surprise when he saw Rabbit waving the hat and demanding the return of his goggles, and fell apart, figuratively speaking, laughing.

The day after that, The Spine’s hair and fedoras were gone and a rainbow clown wig and jester’s hat left in their place. The Spine went around without and tried to stay out of direct sunlight.

In the bathroom in the Walter Girls’ wing of the manor, what appeared to be a positive pregnancy test sat mysteriously on the back of the toilet seat. When questioned, both Michael and Steve said they didn’t do it. They never specified exactly what.

And Walter Girl Bunny? Through it all, she endured the Attack of the Mime.

 Everywhere she went, Bunny kept coming across a motion-activated, creepily cackling mime doll. Sometimes it was in a cupboard. Sometimes in the center of the floor. Once, it was in front of her face when she woke up in the morning. She began to think they were all taking turns moving it.

When the doll popped, with its shrill laugh, out of a coffee pot one morning, she decided she’d had enough. She left the kitchen, clicking her remote behind her.

For the rest of the day, anyone who wanted to eat had to move with caution as every object he or she lifted caused several others in the kitchen to move, as if they were connected by invisible strings. The mime doll, still in the coffee pot, cackled at least a dozen times, at random people, throughout the day… the lid of the pot was “wired” to the refrigerator.

Relief only came when it scared Little Steve and he jumped into the pot with a primal cry, climbing out a few minutes later carrying only the mime doll’s sound box. He head-butted it into silence and buried it in the garden.

Hatchworth complained that no one had pranked him yet, and was overjoyed to find, the next day, that someone had taped a balloon over the steam pipe on his head. He managed to run around and show it off to everyone before it grew too large with steam emissions and burst. It turned out The Spine had done it to keep him quiet.

 Hatchworth, now cheerfully considering himself part of the war, promptly joined Rabbit in cutting chunks of wood from the legs of The Spine’s bed and placing empty soda cans under each one so that the whole thing collapsed several inches the next time the titanium automaton laid down to read.

Peter VI, however, stayed in his study and tried to lay low. There was a time when he would have joined in, but his pranks tended to get out of hand… also, his blue matter accident had left him more shaken than he cared to admit. The splitting of his mask, as well, had been a shock… mostly because of the looks of horror on the girls’ faces as they caught a glimpse of the blue matter underneath. Why Bunny had laughed, he couldn’t imagine. Nerves, he supposed.

 He knew it would all die down eventually. It always did. Someone would go a little too far, suck the fun out, everyone would sulk for a while, and peace… or whatever passed for peace in Walter Manor… would be restored.

It’s easy to wrap yourself in theories when you spend most of your time hiding in your study.

\----------

The pranks, contrary to Peter’s projections, were now a constant. Michael Reed’s pockets, all of his pockets, had been filled with glitter. Even after he washed his clothes, glitter sprinkled from every seam. Steve Negrete had spent hours one morning removing pink bows from his dreadlocks… each one was knotted.

Even Peter VI, hiding though he was, had found a cow in his study.

Hatchworth’s boots had been unlaced, and relaced from the top down, much to his delight. The Spine had gotten his wig and hat back, but they were fitted with magnets so that they kept sliding off his head. Rabbit’s boiler had been laced with perfume, and his accordion was set to make random noises, from duck calls and mooing to cartoon sounds, instead of playing music. Like Hatchworth, though, he actually seemed to enjoy it.

Bunny was getting e-mails from deaf-mute support sites… not the world’s worst prank, but one that got on her nerves often enough per day to compensate for it. Paige had tipped her goggles down while working only to realize they were bigger than usual… just as Rabbit stuck his head around the corner and said, “Are you my mummy?” The other Walter Girls had their goggles replaced with 1940’s gas masks as well. None of them could figure out how it was done while they were wearing them.

Each girl had also found her bedroom filled from wall to wall and to the top with cardboard boxes, one particularly late-working day.

Something had to give, and it didn’t care where.

\----------

Rabbit was following The Spine around, copying his walk and ignoring orders to stop it. The others were loading the van. It was Bunny’s first convention. No one but Rabbit and Peter knew that, so she tried to curb her excitement. This would be the largest gathering of humans she’d ever seen!

The drive there was uneventful, not counting the number of small, stupid travel pranks involving whoopee cushions on seats and Tabasco sauce in various beverages. By the time they arrived, three hours later, they were only too glad to separate.

Bunny was stuck at a table selling merchandise… not the best place for a mute. She did her best to gesture eloquently at the price list when questions were asked, but Paige and Carolina had to step in constantly, and both girls were getting more and more edgy by the minute.

Finally, fed up with the noise of the convention, which she had not expected, and the static from the other girls, Bunny put an invisible box of silence around herself while the other girls were fussing over a damaged kazookaphone. Paige, after trying uselessly, several times over, to ask Bunny whether she’d seen her bottle of superglue, realized something was up, scooped up The Spine’s spare water bottle, and tossed it right through one invisible wall. There was the sound of tinkling invisible glass and the noise of the convention came back to Bunny with a roar.

Bunny glared and pulled out her remote.

By the time the robots got back from their photo shoot, the three girls, one fan wearing Spine makeup, and the whole contents of the merch table, were floating seven feet in the air, courtesy of Bunny’s remote.

Even stranger, all the character buttons were alive! The Rabbits were all making puns, The Spines were telling the Rabbits to shut-up, the Hatchworths were offering people tiny sandwiches, and the Walter Girls had, oddly, started singing in three-part harmony.

Paige was upside-down, muttering swear words under her breath trying to clamp at least one petticoat between her knees. There were a number of kids in the gathered, staring crowd.

“I think I can reach Carolina,” said Michael, standing on tiptoe and reaching as high as he could. With a squeak, he slipped forward and flailed helplessly face-down. Steve, laughing, pulled him back out.

They finally managed to coax Bunny into removing the anti-gravity pocket… slowly… by threatening to make her stay home from shows. They got her to silence the buttons by promising to let her help with an onstage prank later.

Rabbit, however, stopped letting Bunny speak through him the rest of the afternoon. He said it was because of her prank on Paige, but Bunny believed it was because she’d switched on the gravity when Steve was closest to Paige, so that he caught her instead of Rabbit.

So Rabbit sulked, and stomped around in a fit any time she caught his eye and got him to speak for her unwillingly. She felt terrible, having Rabbit angry at her, but she was feeling grumpy and stubborn and rebellious, and needled him instead of trying to apologize.

There was a panel next. It did not go well. Rabbit pouted on one side most of the time because today’s crowd, as a whole, had a thing for The Spine, and asked him most of the questions. Rabbit, ironically, didn’t speak up much in panels unless the questions were directed at him.

Bunny pouted on the other side because everyone was mad at her. No one seemed to want to know much from the Walter Girls anyway. Even Michael , Steve, and the drummer, Matt Smith, received few questions.

To add to the awkwardness of the “Spine-bright-like-a-diamond” panel, as Rabbit later called it, the various Walters and staff tried not to sit too close together, checked their seats before sitting, and sniffed their water glasses, which drew odd looks. They talked over each other or inserted snarky answers to others’ questions. The fans seemed to love it, however.

Rabbit, fed up with the whole thing, finally spoke up to tell everyone that The Spine cried whenever he watched “Gone with the Wind,” that Little Steve was actually a doll that Steve carried everywhere, and that the Walter Girls all wore wigs because they came from a race of bald women. The fans chuckled, somehow oblivious to the glares that Steve and the girls were all shooting Rabbit. The Spine just stared straight ahead. Rabbit looked at Paige for a moment with a contrite expression but couldn’t catch her eye, so he folded his arms across his chest plate and leaned back in his chair, sulkier than before.

The audience continued to chuckle. _Is there nothing that would shock these people_? Bunny wondered.

But there was something…

There was still a concert to be performed.

\----------

Things started off well at the evening’s concert. They got through the first song without any issues.

After that…

Most of the pranks did appear to be part of the act… that was the good news.

The bad news? Some of them didn’t.

During an emergency intermission, a scant thirty minutes into the show, several band members were sulking backstage. More troubling… several others, including the Walter Girls, were missing.

“What’s come over all of you tonight?” asked drummer Matt Smith. “I heard you’d been playing pranks, but this is crazy!”

“They started it!” Rabbit grumped. Michael Reed was removing Rabbit’s cranial plate, red foam Rex Marksely hat and all. Someone had put super glue on it.

“Shut up, Rabbit, or I may end up unscrewing your brain.”

“What brain?” muttered The Spine from the dark part of the room, where he had chosen to sit and glare at everyone.

“Oh, ha ha ha…” Rabbit grumbled.

“You’re already on my hit list after those wisecracks,” Michael continued, settling a fresh plate into place. He started tightening the bolts. “I can’t help it if I slipped and hit a sour note… _someone_ filled my pockets with glitter and it’s all over the back of the stage! Do you know how hard it is to get that stuff out? It’s been sprinkling all over everything all day!”

“I didn’t do it! Anyway, you g-g-got your revenge! Or did you _accidentally_ leave my b-b-back panel flapping open after we sang ‘Honeybee?’”

“Hey, I thought Hatchy was joking that time he told me not to untie the corset,” Michael said innocently.

“Has _someone_ talked to Steve yet about the sound effects problem?” asked Matt with a sigh.

“’Sound effects problem?’” cried Michael. “Oh, you mean _Steve_!”

“Come on, Steve wouldn’t mess around during a concert…”

“Not ordinarily, Matt. This is different. You haven’t been there.”

“Are you telling me he deliberately replaced the thunderclap in ‘Suspender Man’ with the sound of a bike horn and made The Spine sound like a cartoon duck?”

“Maybe! I don’t know…”

“And who glued my hat?” Rabbit growled.

“I’m pretty sure any one of us would have gladly done it, Rabbit. Choose a suspect.”

“One who carries glue,” The Spine added helpfully. Rabbit looked thoughtful… which wasn’t easy.

He decided to show his suspicions about the culprit as soon as the show resumed. He “accidentally” slapped Paige on the bottom while he executed his fake sneeze after she tickled his face with a feather duster. Her white cheeks were faintly pink as she hurried off stage without even a curtsey.

 She took her revenge the next time she was on stage. She made adjustments to each robot with a small drill and was supposed to pretend to drill Rabbit in an awkward spot. She chose not to pretend.

 His surprised shriek was enough to cause a ten-minute delay while Steve fixed the sound system.

Steve, tired and sweaty from the repairs, stirred things up when he played “The Stripper” the next time the Walter Girls came on stage. Paige and Carolina turned pink. Bunny grinned and waggled her hips gleefully before the other girls hauled her backstage and came back out without her.

Unable to get at Steve directly, they directed their anger elsewhere and put the robots into the wrong poses so that the feeble kick The Spine was able to give from his King Tut stance wasn’t enough to get Rabbit’s head and arms back down from the Hatchworth position. He did manage a forward kick to Hatchworth who, as the only one able to move about freely, had to kick both The Spine _and_ Rabbit, and decided he needed to do it extra hard, causing each one to nearly fall off the stage with the momentum. Still the audience laughed, oblivious.

It was on. Even the adoring fans realized something was not quite right when The Spine was supposed to “slap” Hatchworth and Rabbit simultaneously to stop them from snapping their fingers… and the microphones caught the unmistakable clang of metal on metal. Rabbit looked, for a moment, as though he was going to paste him right back. Before he could, though, his face relaxed into a troublingly wicked smile.

Sure enough, he soon got him back. During The Spine’s wagon train speech, Rabbit blew long and juicy raspberries every time his brother said the words, “super diarrhea.” Afterward, there was a look in The Spine’s eyes that had seldom been seen on stage…

They had come to the part of the act in which they pretended to get into a fight in a saloon.

“I’ve had enough outta you, pardner!” The Spine said, and threw his “fake” punch… sending Rabbit flat onto his back and nearly taking out a footlight. The crowd gasped. The Spine turned and swung at Hatchworth, who ducked.

Rabbit was stunned. The Spine helped him to his feet, laughing the blow off as an accident. Rabbit, recovering, laughed along with him, patted his shoulder affably, and punched him in the stomach plate. There was a mixture of gasps and nervous laughter from the audience. Hatchworth, wanting his share, took them both down with a running tackle.

Another brief intermission was called to check for damage.

“You’re lucky you didn’t break his jaw, Spine!” Michael hissed. Matt was at the edge of the stage, trying to calm the venue security who had taken issue with the amount of damage they were potentially doing to the stage.

“ _He’s_ lucky I didn’t…” The Spine muttered.

“I’m tellin’ Petes on ya!” Rabbit growled.

“Tattletale,” muttered Hatchworth.

“Congratulations. You’re officially human,” pouted Paige. “You’re a bunch of spoiled brats!”

Steve snickered.

Michael shot him a dirty look. “Don’t start, man. Just don’t.” He examined Rabbit’s face plate. “The pranks are out of hand, alright?”

“You were doing it, too! You all were!” cried Rabbit, thinking he was speaking directly to him.

“Shush!” Michael glanced over at Matt uneasily. “Yeah, we were. It’s gone too far. Just let it go, alright?”

“I will if they do,” said Hatchworth, folding his arms.

Bunny watched from the side, still sulking. She wanted to give Rabbit a hug to cheer him up, and try to say she was sorry to everyone, if he would let her, but as far as she knew, he and everyone else were still angry at her. She wiped tears and felt very sorry for herself. This was her fault… she always messed things up. _He_ was always telling her that... it was all her fault… She sighed. She’d told herself never to believe anything _he_ told her, yet here she was.

Well, some of it was her fault, anyway.

The audience, amazingly, hadn’t left en masse and they were able to finish the show. “Brass Goggles” suffered very little damage… though when Rabbit raised his megaphone to begin the song, he found it afflicted with the same cartoon noises that had filled his accordion earlier in the week. He ended up just yelling into the microphone instead. Matt Smith, thinking they were starting up again and apparently fed up with all of them, dragged out his drum solo song long that one of Rabbit’s knees gave out and he fell over. The Spine helped him up again and placated the audience, who were now on pins and needles, by giving his brother a quick, somewhat reluctant hug.

Nevertheless, there was a serious discussion with the people hosting the event about whether the autograph session ought to be held after all. It was pointed out by said people that if they wanted to get paid, after their “memorable” concert, they had better set aside their differences and get their rears into their seats. Michael Reed, with much muttering about contracts and lawyers they couldn’t afford, ushered everyone into the session, where they managed to be friendly with the fans, laugh off concerned remarks, and generally ignore each other. It was an improvement.

\----------

Peter VI took a break the following morning from his work, popped open an energy drink, and pulled up the internet to see what the damage was. The band had rolled in the night before around 3 am, cranky but fortunately too tired for any pranks. By morning, he was sure, the first video evidence should have begun to be uploaded by the bewildered fans.

He was not mistaken. By the time he had finished watching the portions the public had found the most noteworthy, Peter A. Walter VI had decided it was time to take action. He could still pull a prank or two of his own, when called upon.

\----------

Bunny sat slumped gloomily in her seat, arms folded. The rest of the household was gathered with her in the library with Peter pacing quietly before them, trying to look dignified, she supposed. She couldn’t help smiling a little. He wasn’t fooling anyone.

“I suppose you’re all wondering why I gathered you here…”

 “Really, Petes?”

“Quiet, Rabbit. Actually, I’m sure you know exactly why.”

“Peter…” Michael began.

“Shush. I know pranks are nothing new around here. I’ve played plenty myself in the past.” He sighed. “But this is the first time I’ve seen them get this far out of hand.” He sighed. “Look, you want to paint muscle rub liniment all over the toilet seats in Walter Manor, go nuts.” Steve snapped his fingers and looked at Michael, who studiously ignored him. “But when you threaten our bread and butter with nonsense at a concert, I can’t ignore it. I could just fire you all… robotic company excepted…”

They gasped almost as one.

“Peter, please reconsider!” The Spine coaxed.

“Spine, please. I don’t like it. But I can’t just let you police yourselves anymore, can I? I waited… I was more than patient. It wouldn’t be fair to fire everyone, though, so I’m forced to determine the greatest source of trouble and remove it.”

Rabbit squeaked with alarm. Bunny shook her head at Peter.

“No, Rabbit, not you… I mean, you’re absolutely right, don’t get me wrong. But I can’t very well throw you out, can I? You’d never make it.” For some reason, this made him laugh. Bunny scowled.

“And it wouldn’t be right to keep you shut down between concerts. But I wasn’t thinking of you.”

His mask turned toward Bunny. The others stared. Bunny clapped her hands over her mouth, horrified.

“Oh, no!” Paige, sitting next to Bunny, put her arm around her protectively, but Bunny couldn’t seem to feel it. She’d gone numb.

“What?” gasped The Spine.

“Peter, come on!” cried Michael.

“Petes, no! It was all m-m-my fault!” cried Rabbit, over all of them. “She was hardly e-e-even on stage last night!”

“I’m sorry, Rabbit. We gave it a try, but Bunny was the one who started all this, and I can’t afford to fire everyone at once… I’d prefer not to fire anyone, really. But here we are.”

“Peter, no! I was…” began The Spine.

“What can she d-d-do out there?” Rabbit interrupted. “How will she live? She’s n-n-n-not used to this world…” Rabbit snapped his mouth shut.

“Well, we could send her back where she came from…”

Bunny gasped. “No!” screamed Rabbit.

“Then…”

“I don’t understand, Peter,” said Michael. “What do you mean, ‘back where she came from?’ She’s always been here…” The others nodded.

 _No!_ Bunny told Peter. _Throw me out into your cold world if that’s what your ego demands, but don’t send me back there!_

Peter lowered his mask toward his nervously fidgeting hands. “If that’s what you want, Bunny. Gather your things.”

Bunny stood, her heart pounding, trembling with the sobs she refused to let show in front of Peter, and started toward the doorway. Rabbit moved to block her; most of the others had already leaped up to join him. He pushed her gently behind him, where The Spine put his hands on her shoulders and Paige and Carolina each took her by one hand. The tears began to leak out in spite of her resistance.

“If _what_ ’s what she w-w-wants?” Rabbit cried. “What did she say?”

Bunny pulled her hands away from the Walter Girls and turned Rabbit gently toward her so that she could speak. His eyes widened in horror as he whispered her words.

“I’m sorry, everyone. I didn’t mean to cause so much trouble when I came here… I just wanted to get away from… from all the ugliness. I never saw a way out before. I just had to take it… then one night I felt something pull me right out from in front of him… he was just about to backhand me for…”

Rabbit shut his mouth tight and the rest was lost in a mumble. Bunny sniffled and sighed.

“Bunny, what are you talking about?” Paige asked. “You’ve always been here!”

Bunny looked at Rabbit, who shook his head and clamped his optics shut, tilting his face down for good measure, unwilling to go any further. Peter stepped forward.

“Bunny…”

_You tell them! Tell them the truth!_

“No… I’m sorry! This isn’t what I wanted to have happen…”

 _Then what was supposed to happen? You… beast! You’re just like_ him _! I don’t think I even want to live here if it means living with you!_

“Bunny!” There was hurt in his voice. Bunny twisted free of the others and tried to run out. Peter lunged forward and caught her by the arm.

“Let her go!” cried The Spine, as he pulled Peter’s hand away from her. “It wasn’t her fault! Just leave her alone! It was…”

“Yeah, Peter! We all did it!” Steve cut in. “So you’re just going to have to fire everyone.”

“I quit!” cried Hatchworth.

“Hatchworth…” sighed The Spine.

Rabbit opened his eyes and put his arms around Bunny, restraining her as much as protecting her. “She’s not leavin’! If she leaves, I’m g-g-goin’ too!” Hatchworth put his arms around them both, and The Spine managed to reach around all three.

Paige grabbed onto what she could reach of Rabbit. His face plates twitched and he slipped one hand down to close over hers as he continued to stare Peter down. Michael, Steve, and Carolina each found a spot. Bunny gave up and sobbed in the center.

Peter shook his head. “That’s it, then? You’d all rather leave than let her go?”

They nodded, one by one.

“Can I assume that this means you’ve put your grievances aside and chosen to keep the pranks where they belong?” They nodded again.

Bunny looked up in shock. She felt as if a light had flickered on inside her head.

“Alright, then. One more chance. But I’ll hold you to it.” He stalked out of the library without looking back.

She was stunned. He’d never meant to fire her! He was trying to manipulate them all… What was the matter with this man?

She wriggled out of their grasp and ran after him. He turned at the sound of her steps, just in time for her to rip off his mask and punch him squarely in the jaw. She threw the mask onto the floor.

_You creep! You let me think you were going to send me back there just so you could make them all feel badly enough to stop pranking each other? I suppose if I’d killed myself in order to keep it from happening, you’d have figured it was an acceptable loss!_

He stared at her, too stunned apparently to pick up the mask, even as the others came around the corner and gasped. Something blue was flickering in the dark hall, reflecting off of the concert photos lining the walls, but she didn’t look around to see what it was.

 “How… how could you punch me? The vortex…”

_What vortex? You and that stupid mask! If you’re self-conscious about your looks, trying brushing your hair!_

He touched his face. “You… can’t see it?”

“I see it!” said Hatchworth. Someone shushed him.

 _I see your_ face _, yeah! I don’t get you… you look just fine! I even thought you were kinda cute when I saw you before…_ She shook her head. _You know what, I don’t care what your problem is! Right now, all I want to do is leave this place, but I don’t want the others to follow me! So… just keep away from me from now on!_

She ran down the hall toward the Walter Girl wing.

“Bunny…!  I’m sorry!” he called after her, but she kept going.

\----------

The next morning, Peter woke, face-down on his desk as usual, and found a letter written in The Spine’s crisp hand, taking full responsibility for everything upon confessing having taken Bunny’s remote twice, hoping the minor pranks would teach her how it felt without doing any serious harm. He added at the end an extra note of contrition for attempting to frame "Mr. Reed." Peter chuckled.

There were other notes, from almost every staff member, trying to take the bulk of the blame.

But the only letter Bunny left took a little longer to find… all of his masks had a bright blue letter “L” painted above the keyhole. He humbly wore them around that way for the next week, during which there were no further pranks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end of my Walter Girl Bunny writing. I was kinda running out of stories anyway, and then they announced who was Playing Peter VI... I realize I've altered Bunny a lot... I realize some people will ship anyone with anyone... and I realize that all I did was really set up some tension... but for my part, well... Ew. Going to bed with a stomachache once the nervous laughter passes. It's been a lot of fun, folks!


	9. Smirking (a quick drabble for the road... I think it's a drabble anyway)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aw, what the heck... One last little story. Sub-plot, really. I can work through this.

The Spine was grinning at his newspaper.

"What're y-y-you smirkin' about?"

"I'm smilin', Rabbit," The Spine drawled.

"Yeah, the way a hyena smiles at his lunch," Rabbit muttered.

"You got somethin' against smilin'?"

"Of course n-n-not. I got somethin' against smirkin'."

Bunny looked back and forth between them, chuckling at how alike they were. When The Spine was amused or in a particularly good mood, his usually crisp speech sounded much more casual... much more human. He also had an accent... She wasn't sure what kind. Accents were a fairly foreign concept in a race of mimes.

"Try lookin' somewhere else, then."

Rabbit turned his back to The Spine, who grinned from ear to ear.

"I heard that!"

"You heard that?" The Spine asked, white enamel teeth gleaming. "You heard me smilin'?"

"Yeah, bright boy, I heard ya smilin'! You sent it over the wifi!"

"Now, Rabbit, how can you send a smile over a wifi?"

 Hatchworth stumped into the room. "You're cheerful today, The Spine! I could hear you smiling all the way into the kitchen."

Rabbit jabbed a finger briskly at Hatchworth. "Didn't I tell ya?" he snapped.

Hatchworth took a step backward. "This is about the guacamole and sardine sandwiches, isn't it? They are not everyone's favorite..."

"Don't worry about it, Hatchy. Rabbit's decided to go slowly insane."

"So early in the week? I'll get the catnip mouse and the weighted blanket."

"Don't do m-m-m-me any favors!" Rabbit grumbled. "An' I need a new mouse, anyway."

The Spine snickered.

Bunny looked at Rabbit. His eyes widened and she heard a click inside his throat; since the incidents during the Great Prank War of 2013, he'd taken to using the mechanism Steve and Michael had installed in his throat to lower his own volume any time Bunny had something to say. She'd promised not to yell, and had pointed out that he was capable of whispering if he wanted to, and that it was his own tantrum that had led to the shriek that had broken all the drinking glasses and the front of the grandfather clock, but Rabbit was still nervous. She wasn't sure why no one had taken out the gizmo.

"Why are you so angry at The Spine?" he whispered.

She grinned as Rabbit folded his arms across his chest and stuck out his lip. He crept over and leaned down close to her ear. Hatchworth shuffled close and leaned in as well. Rabbit stared at him with one eyebrow raised until, in a perfect reversal of the same shuffle, Hatchworth returned to the doorway and folded his hands, smiling benignly.

Rabbit nodded and whispered, "I'll tell ya why... because he's a b-b-big jerk."

Bunny gave Rabbit a stare much like the one he'd given Hatchworth.

"Well, he is."

"Can't bring yourself to admit it, can you, Rabbit?" said The Spine, peering with seemingly great interest at his paper.

"Admit nothin'! Ain't n-n-nothing to admit! Got no secrets, tin man."

"Izzat a fact? Well, I am surprised."

"Yer real funny."

"Why, when I think..." The Spine said pleasantly, turning the page of his newspaper, "of all the times you've teased me about liking human women..."

"Human women?" cried Hatchworth. "You like human women, The Spine?"

They all turned to stare at Hatchworth with matching lopsided expressions. He shuffled backward. "Was it something I said?"

"So, Rabbit... you gonna tell her?"

Rabbit folded his hands behind his head and leaned back against the couch next to Bunny. "Tell who what, now?"

"You know who and you know what."

Bunny guessed that they weren't talking about her. More than that, she had no doubt who and what they _were_ talking about. She leaned back next to Rabbit and playfully elbowed him in the side. He giggled.

"Stop it, that tickles!"

Only a robot would think an elbow to his side tickled, she thought. She winked at him. He looked alarmed.

"You _know_ _?"_ he whispered.

She beamed, and Rabbit whispered, in Bunny's special voice, "Who doesn't?"

"I doesn't," said Hatchworth.

"What you d-d-don't know would fill up Kazooland, Hatchy."

"Harsh," muttered The Spine. "Just because you're mad at me, I suppose? Don't take it out on Hatchworth."

"Oh, believe me, I won't," said Rabbit, his voice taut with implied violence.

The Spine put down his newspaper and turned to Rabbit. "In all seriousness, Rabbit, what do you mean to do about it?"

"Do? Gonna go outside and look for shapes in the clouds with Bunny. Th-th-that's what I'm gonna do."

"Really?" The Spine shook his head. "There's nothing wrong with it, y'know. Anyone can see she likes you..."

"Lotsa people like lotsa other people. Don't mean nothin'."

"Just because it sometimes ends badly... but that happens with machines, too. Don't forget..."

"Don't say it!"

"Of course not," his brother said calmly. Bunny understood. Hatchworth had told her about Honeybee, and Jenny the Toaster. Rabbit's lost loves.

"Is that it, then? Is that why you won't tell her how you feel? You're afraid to take chances?"

"Shut up."

"Rabbit..."

The copper robot jumped to his feet. "C'mon, Bunny! Before all the clouds b-b-burn off..."

Bunny looked at him sadly and rose to follow. Hatchworth sighed and shuffled back to the kitchen.

"Fact is, Bunny..." Rabbit murmured, as they left the room and a sighing Spine, "I'd almost be ready to try it, but there's no way a pretty girl like her would be interested in an ancient bucket of copper bolts like me."

Bunny had nothing to say to that. So she gave him a hug and they started toward the outer doorway. In the hall, they met Paige. Rabbit became suddenly fascinated with his glove. Paige gave him a puzzled half-smile and turned to Bunny.

"I need a break. Can you go help Michael finish his project? He's got maybe another hour's work left."

Bunny nodded.

"That's okay, sis. We can look at the clouds tomorrow," Rabbit told his glove. He turned to leave. Paige caught his arm.

"I could sure use some fresh air after all that time in the lab. If it's okay with Bunny, could I go instead?"

Rabbit looked up, surprised. Bunny grinned and pushed Paige toward him, winking.

"Don't hurry back. I'll help Michael finish up," she whispered through Rabbit.

He looked, wide-eyed, at Paige. Then, as though suddenly remembering his manners, he held out his arm. Paige took it, beaming. She and Rabbit looked at each other. A slow, slightly creaky smile spread across Rabbit's face, starting at the left corner of his mouth and working its way across.

"We'll go to my favorite spot on the grounds," he murmured. "It's nice an' quiet..."

"Perfect," she sighed.

Bunny, giggling silently, made herself scarce as they headed outside.

Michael Reed ended up working for two more hours. She'd expected that. He always wanted to try just one more thing, and it would always lead to two or three more.

As she left the lab, she couldn't help wondering how things had gone with Rabbit and Paige. She knew Rabbit's favorite spot for looking at clouds, but it didn't seem right to spy. But Rabbit had said he wasn't going to tell Paige. Therefore it didn't count as spying, it counted as going out to see if they were still there.

She started toward the doorway and met Paige on her way inside. She was holding Rabbit's bandana to her mouth. Her usually white cheeks turned pink when she saw Bunny.

Rabbit was right behind her, his head bare, talking non-stop. "I said I was sorry! I panicked..." He stopped short and stared at Bunny, steam pouring from his vents.

Paige turned around. "Iff wavn't your faulff," she said through the cloth. "I..." Her voice choked off. She waved half-heartedly at Bunny and hurried into the house.

"Paige!"

Bunny was torn between discomfort and searing curiosity. Rabbit saved her the trouble of choosing what to do next.

"She tried ta k-k-kiss me!" he cried, agitated. Bunny gaped.

"I know, right? There I was, bein' a gentleman an' all, and she rolls right over on the grass and aims those pretty blue lips..." He trailed off, gulping. Bunny poked him. There was no way she was leaving him alone until she'd heard this!

"Sorry... uh, yeah... so she says, 'Hey, Rabbit... I know The Spine sometimes dates human women. Have you ever dated a woman?' An' I said I hadn't, an' she s-s-says, 'So you've n-n-never been k-kissed?'"

Bunny was wringing her crinolines into a tight twist. She hastily dropped them and folded her hands instead, nodding encouragingly.

Rabbit closed his eyes. "The next thing you know, she was propped up on her elbow and lookin' down at me an'... an'... oh, gosh, she's pretty in the sunshine..."

Bunny smacked him noisily in the chest. He coughed a ball of steam and shook his head.

"Yeah, so, she's leanin' down, an' I see what's c-c-comin', an' I... I panicked 'cause she's right, I've never... yeah... so I tried to sit up an' I head-butted her in the mouth..."

Bunny slapped her hands to her face.

"Bunny!" Rabbit breathed. "Sh-sh-she likes me!"

He folded his hands over his gleaming copper skull and moaned. "I'm an idiot! Why am I an idiot?"

Bunny shook her head and wondered the same thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone else find themselves wondering if Hatchy was gonna pour himself a cup of ambition? A slice of Pieland to anyone who gets that reference.


	10. Back from Bip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter VI and Walter Girl Paige visit Kazooland, for separate reasons.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Daw, what the heck... let the story continue, wherever it may lead. Never mind who plays the characters at conventions. That's show biz. It's not like I was gonna write anything raunchy anyhow. Hints, sure... done that already. See, I recently complained about accidentally opening a Spabbit fanfic and was reminded that they weren't really brothers but fictional characters. Well, first of all, I think of the robots as brothers, so it's all the same to me. Second, ew. I'm entitled to my opinion, dang it.
> 
> But I thought of the reminder in the context of these stories and decided... my Walter Girl Bunny always was different from the one Bunny made up (she's a lot less tough, for one thing, and has a weakness for nerdy men), and Peter VI is just a character in the canon. I can get over myself enough to let these characters develop in the way they want to... and keep it clean besides. I like that anyone can read these and not get scarred for life.
> 
> But just so we're clear... fictional, wholly unrelated characters, no resemblance to real persons living or dead. Right. 
> 
> "I'm Buster Bunny..."  
> "And I'm Babs Bunny..."  
> "No relation." (google it, I dares ya)

Some weeks seemed to be full of nothing but arguing robotic siblings. This was such a week. And lucky Bunny... because of her particular relationship with the robots, she always seemed to be on babysitting duty. Most of the time it was fun, except when they, despite their advanced ages, were being brats. Like today.

"Make him give it back, The Spine."

"Give it back, Rabbit."

" _Make_ him, The Spine!"

"C'mon, y-y-you can reach it, Hatchy..." Rabbit taunted, holding the derby hat on one finger above Hatchworth's head.

Click. A sharp gust of wind came from nowhere and puffed the hat up and off of Rabbit's finger and into Hatchworth's hands. The bronze robot popped it hastily over his stovepipe and snapped it into place.

"Thank you, Bunny. You are my new favorite brother."

"She's yer sister, ya d-dumb furnace..."

Bunny pocketed her remote and thumped Rabbit upside the head. She loved Rabbit, but she wouldn't have him picking on Hatchworth, who had only two levels of response. She had dubbed one "the Kitten" and the other "the Terminator." Either way, she felt intervention was wise.

Rabbit folded his arms and sat down on the floor to pout.

"Oh, yes, of course," Hatchy chimed sheepishly. "I always get those mixed up. Would you like an apology sandwich?"

Bunny nodded, wondering what flavor those were. To her surprise, Hatchworth gave her a hug. She grinned and gave him the sign for "cute." She had gotten tired of having to submit to Rabbit's whims when she wanted to speak, and was learning sign language. It had been easy enough for the robots to download it, and the Walter Girls were working on it with Bunny every evening. One of the first words she had wanted to learn was "cute." She always seemed to need it around the Manor... whether because everything was cute or whether it was because she found so many things that way, she wasn't sure. _  
_

"Yeah, real cute, Hatchy..." muttered Rabbit. "Why aren't they back yet?"

"It's not like a quick trip to the beach, Rabbit," The Spine responded. "Kazooland is a long way away."

"Yeah, but they have the p-portals."

"Which are in one place. There's still over-land travel."

"Whatever."

"Just quit asking every five minutes why they aren't back."

Silence fell in the room. The Spine continued to tinker with Pappy Walter's old Victrola, Hatchworth was trying to learn how to do the separating thumb trick, and Rabbit pouted, while Bunny watched them and sewed a button onto a dress she'd been making... one with striking black and white stripes and white satin ribbons. She was happily daydreaming about the number of crinolines she could squeeze under it when Rabbit jumped up and started pacing.

"I should have given her m-m-more flowers..."

"The ones you gave her are already wilting," The Spine said reasonably. "Why have more wilting? She's not even here."

"Well..."

"Flowers don't repair chipped teeth. She needed to see her dentist."

"I know!"

The Spine sat back on one heel. "You never did tell me how she chipped her tooth, Rabbit," he said slowly.

"Mm-hm..." Rabbit said to the floor.

He stared at Rabbit. "Right. Well, they should be home soon. They were due back this afternoon."

"What? I didn't know that!"

"Because you don't pay attention. Peter told us right before he left."

"He didn't..."

"You were there. You were trying to get Paige's attention and she wouldn't look at you... seemed embarrassed about something, if you ask me..."

"Alright, alright! N-no one did ask you, laughing boy!"

The Spine chuckled and began to clean up loose parts from the library floor. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, Rabbit. But if you have any questions, need any advice..."

"You wish. Like I'd ask my y-y-younger brother for advice!"

"You have before. Well, anyway, just let me know. I'll be glad to help. I know a lot of things you don't, Rabbit..."

Rabbit snorted. The Spine stopped on his way out of the library.

"Like how to kiss a flesh-and-blood woman without giving her a concussion."

Rabbit made a gesture Bunny didn't know he could make with his creaky copper hands. Hatchworth looked fascinated.

"Really, Rabbit. C'mon, Hatchworth, your big brother is setting a bad example."

"Again? I always learn new things when he does that."

"I _know_. Come on." The Spine left, chuckling, leading Hatchworth by the arm.

 _Why does he always have to bait him?_ wondered Bunny. But she privately hoped Rabbit would swallow his pride and talk to his brother later, for his sake, as well as the sake of Paige's dental work. And that he wouldn't make any more educational gestures.

The repaired, ancient record player, left running, dropped a record into place and began to play a very old song.

"I'm moanin'... moanin'... moanin' for you... I can't go on like this, just moanin' for you..."

Rabbit's lower jaw trembled and he sat down next to Bunny. "He had ta g-go an' play that one..." He hung his head and his shoulders shook.

Bunny set aside her dress... carefully... and put her arm around Rabbit. He reached up and patted her hand.

"She hates me, Bunny. I broke h-h-her tooth an' she hates me..."

He wouldn't look up and she didn't know many signs. She hoped he just needed to talk, because he wasn't letting her answer.

"I _wanted_ ta kiss her, that's the thing. Shocking, huh? I n-nevah w-w-w-wanted to kiss a real girl before... They're delicate, ya know? And the first time I actually wanna kiss one, that's right, I break her. The Spine's been chasin' skirts since he was five years old, and I don't think he evah broke one..."

She fought the urge to laugh at Rabbit's misery. He had a way of describing The Spine's poignant search for love, that made it sound thoroughly depraved.

"I guess that's why I panicked. I didn't wanna hurt her, so I hurt her!" He threw his head back suddenly and let out a ragged, exasperated groan. "What's the matter with me?"

She patted his shoulder.

"What if she don't come b-b-back, Bunny? What if she's really goin' home for good 'cause she don't wanna be around a bunch of clumsy piles of scrap metal?"

Bunny knew Paige was coming back. She tried to get him to look her way so that she could say so, but he had his hands over his face.

"Shut me down if she don't come back, Bunny. I d-d-don't think I wa-wa-wanna be here if-if she isn't."

Bunny sighed impatiently. Now he was just being dramatic and making himself glitch more! She grabbed his head and turned it toward her, ready to lash him with his own tongue, when his eyes fixed, wide with horror, on the doorway. Bunny turned to see Paige smiling in at them.

"I'm back..."

 _How long has she been there?_ Bunny wondered, amused.

Rabbit stood quickly. "Are-are you alright, Paige?" he murmured.

"Just fine. See?" She grinned. "He did a quick patch job on it. You can't even tell it was chipped."

"So... you're not mad anymore?"

She laughed. "I told you I wasn't, Rabbit. I never was. It was an accident."

Bunny felt the tension building and decided to let it build without her. Nothing was going to happen with her watching, anyway. She gathered up her dress and started out the doorway.

"Oh, it's nearly done!" Paige cried. "Oh, it's gorgeous, Bunny! You'll have to make me one sometime."

Bunny nodded, resolving to make it just a shade less poofy than hers, and slipped past Paige and out.

"Bunny..." came Rabbit's voice, high with fear. She hurried away as Paige walked into the library.

 _You can handle it, Rabbit_ , she thought. She heard snickering in the Hall of Wires as she passed.

The door was open. The Spine and Hatchworth were looking at a monitor. On it, she could see Paige walking toward Rabbit.

She wanted to scold them, but didn't really have the ability. She also wanted to ask them why they couldn't just spy by wifi. After a momentary struggle, shorter than it should have been, she decided to creep in and join them.

Paige was chattering about her trip, asking him how things had gone while they were away. He said they were fine.

She said, rather shyly, "I know it was only three days, but... I really missed... all of you."

"I missed you, too, Paige. I-I thought... maybe you weren't gonna come b-back..."

"Aw, Rabbit! Why would you think that?"

He looked down and shook his head.

"Look, Rabbit... I want to apologize."

He looked up quickly. The Spine and Hatchworth looked at each other and finally noticed Bunny. She dispelled their guilty looks with a wink. The Spine grinned and pulled up a chair for her.

"What? Why?" Rabbit asked, on the monitor.

"I know you aren't interested in humans, well, non-mechanical girls, anyway. I shouldn't have tried to..." She stopped and looked down at her hands.

"Kiss me?" he said in a voice that brought her eyes back up to his.

They looked at each other for what seemed like a very long time. Bunny suddenly didn't feel right after all and started to get up to leave. The Spine put his hand on her arm and nodded at the monitor.

Rabbit was standing closer to Paige. He took her hand and started to lean forward. Her eyes were wide.

"Rabbit?" she whispered a second before his lips lightly touched hers.

 _Yeah, this is just not right..._ thought Bunny, grinning in spite of herself. Rabbit's first kiss! Well, as far as she knew. As far as she wanted to know, in fact.

It was only a little kiss, though. Paige smiled when he stood again with a puzzled expression. "Did you get curious?"

"Curious about what?"

"Kissing human women."

"Not all-all of them, no..."

"Well, no, of course not all of them..." She scratched her head. "What do you mean, exactly?"

"Well... j-j-just you, Paige."

"Just... me?" she whispered.

"Uh-huh."

 _Sweet talker,_ though Bunny. _You're dying out there..._

"Rabbit... do you like me at all?"

"Yeah."

The Spine groaned. "Why won't he take advice?" he muttered.

"No wonder he only dates toasters," said Hatchworth.

Bunny laughed.

"I mean," Paige went on, sounding strained. "Do you _like_ me?"

"Uh-huh."

Bunny put her hand over her eyes. The Spine was pinching the bridge of his nose and sighing.

"Rabbit!" Paige cried.

"What?" he shouted back.

"Why did you kiss me, you stupid? Did you just want to see what it was like or are you trying to tell me something?"

"Yeah, I'm trying to t-t-tell you something, you crazy g-girl! I don't go around k-k-kissin' people as a hobby!"

"Well?"

"I-I-I-I-I-I..."

"Um... are you alright, Rabbit?"

"N-n-n-n-no!" He shook his head vigorously.

"Maybe we should get you to the lab."

She turned, still holding his hand, to lead him away for repairs, but he didn't budge. He pulled back instead, and she staggered backward into his arms. He caught her before she fell.

"P-Paige! I d-don't need repairs!"

"He always needs repairs," muttered The Spine. Hatchworth and Bunny nodded.

"Then what's going on?"

"I do like you, Paige... I-I like you a lot... I was afraid y-you weren't comin' back and I felt awful! Don't leave, Paige!"

"Rabbit... really?" she asked, beaming. "I like you too, Rabbit. Maybe even..." She blushed.

Their faces were close again. Bunny couldn't look away.

"Oh, there you are!" said Peter VI. "Um... Did you fall, Paige?"

The Spine, Bunny, and Hatchworth all groaned. Paige and Rabbit moved apart hastily. Paige gave Peter VI the sourest look Bunny had ever seen her give anyone.

"Was it something I said?"

"At least!" snapped Rabbit. "Just when I had her on the five-yard line..."

"Huh?"

"Whaddya want, Pete?"

Bunny chuckled silently and got up to go. She didn't really want to look at Peter VI right now.

"Oh, I was just wondering where everyone was..." Peter VI said absently.

Rabbit and Paige glared at him as one. Bunny had dropped her needle somewhere and crouched down to look for it on the floor of the Hall.

"Why did ya g-g-go to Kazooland, anyhow? Can't Paige go to the dentist on her own?"

"Oh, I just happened to be making a trip at the same time. What... were you two doing, anyway?"

Bunny looked up at the monitor, wondering how they would explain themselves.

Rabbit sighed, seeing that Peter VI wasn't going anywhere. He took Paige by the hand again. "None of your business."

Peter rubbed his neck restlessly as Bunny resumed her search. "Will the wonders never cease? Anyway, I had some business in Bip... that's in Merveille. Beautiful city... I may have to visit it more often."

Bunny looked up sharply. Bip? _Her_ Bip? Her hometown? How could he have gone there?

"Bip? What business did you have in Bip?" Rabbit demanded.

"Rabbit..." Paige murmured.

"Uh... just business, that's all. Well, I'll see you later." He walked out.

Bunny stared, bewildered, at the monitor. She didn't even register what she saw as Rabbit drew gasps from his brothers by sweeping Paige suddenly backward into a dip, kissing her as though he'd done it hundreds of times.

"Give me strength!" swore The Spine, shutting off the monitor. "Does he play dumb for effect? Or is it for sympathy? Is that how he does things? You'd think I'd know by now!"

"That went well," said Hatchworth with a whiskery smile. "Are they married now?"

"Hatchworth... No, Hatchworth, they're not."

"Why not?"

"Do you know how hard it is for a robot to get a marriage license?" He froze and stared at the ceiling for a long moment. "I mean, robots can't get a marriage license, of course, dumb'ns. No more questions now."

Bunny fought the urge to go and ask Peter VI what he'd been doing in Bip. She'd resolved not to speak to him... ever again. Yes, that had been the general plan.

Still... she sighed. No.

She scooped up her dress, waved at the robots, and hurried back to her own room to continue her work.

Peter VI was waiting by the invisible door. He looked up sharply as she came around the corner.

"Bunny..." he said breathlessly. "I'm sorry. I know you don't want to see me here or anywhere else..."

She frowned.

"I just thought I should tell you that you'll have a home here for as long as you want it. And if you don't want it, I'll see to it that you are able to go wherever you want to go."

 _Why, Peter?_ she asked reluctantly.

"Because its the right thing to do..."

_And because you feel guilty._

"Yeah, so? Isn't that a good thing, if I did wrong?"

_Not if you're just doing this to soothe your conscience._

"That's what a conscience is for," he said shortly. "You got a better reason?"

She sighed. _No, I guess not. Well... Thank you._

"You're very welcome."

_So... why did you go to Bip?_

He gasped. "How did you know that?"

_Well... to be honest... we were spying on Rabbit and Paige. The Spine pulled it up on a monitor._

Peter laughed. She'd forgotten what a nice sounding laugh he had.

"The Spine... well, so, yeah, I went to Bip..."

_Yeah. Why?_

He rubbed his neck. "I was worried about something."

_Go on._

"I wondered whether you had been missed when you came here. When I finally worked out that Merveille was the mime dimension Pappy Walter had mentioned... seems he had a different definition for the word... well, I decided I'd better make sure that no one was putting up posters with your face on them."

_I can't think of anyone who would want to do that._

He tilted his head to one side, his mask facing her. "Yes, well, there was a missing person's report. It wasn't easy, but I did manage to straighten things out."

_Straighten them out how?_

"Well... you already hate me, so I guess there's no harm in telling you..."

_I don't hate you, Peter. I don't hate anyone, really._

"Not even your father?"

_Him? Are you telling me this involved him? What did you do?_

"Calm down! He's not involved, not now. I found him, and I told him a thing or two about what I knew, and that if he knew what was good for him he'd tell the authorities that you weren't missing after all. I told him that you were safe..."

 _You didn't need to bother with that,_ she said bitterly.

"Well, all the same, I did. But..." He looked away. "I also warned him that if he made any attempt to contact you I'd tell the police everything he'd done to you. I'm sorry. I don't think he'll call my bluff."

_Another bluff. You're so crooked... Can you even walk straight, Peter Walter?_

"Well, I try, but usually I fall over."

She burst out laughing in spite of herself. _What have you done? I don't know what to think of you anymore, Peter..._

"Think well of me, then? Not many people do."

_It's your own fault._

"Yeah, I know. Part of it. The other part was an accident."

He reached up and removed his mask. His face, when it came to light, was frank, almost pleading in expression. The hallway flickered with mysterious blue light, the way it had the last time she had seen him without his mask.

"Can you see my face, Bunny?" he said desperately. "You said you could before..."

_Of course. Are you trying to tell me I'm the only one?_

"Yes." His eyes shimmered and he wiped them with his sleeve. "I can't even see it anymore. I can touch it, but not see it."

She gasped, one hand at her throat. Poor Peter! _But, why can I see your face? I don't understand!_

"I can only assume it has something to do with your journey through purple matter. It must have some property... I don't know. It can't be some kind of anti-blue matter or the robots would malfunction even more around you, and they don't. I'n not used to not understanding... but that's my best guess." He sighed. "Anyway, well... I just wanted to let you know that everything's taken care of. You're independent, now. I signed papers and everything."

_Thank you, Peter. That... that was really sweet of you.  
_

He smiled as though she'd given him a big cookie. She did, too, and started to walk away.

"Bunny..."

She looked at him, waiting.

"You'll probably think this is weird..."

_I always think you're weird._

"Well, then.... Could you... could you touch my face?"

She squinted one eye. _Touch your face..._

He nodded.

_Really weird, Peter._

"Bunny!" he cried. "It's just that... I didn't expect to feel so detached like this... I don't spend a lot of time around other people, I know. But now, now no one can touch me... my face, anyway. My own mother can't kiss my cheek."

 _Don't look at_ me _, bub..._

"I know, I know... I didn't ask for that."

He hadn't. She hesitated a moment, and nodded.

He walked up to her. She looked into his eyes, and he closed them as though it hurt him. Bunny reached up and gently stroked his cheek. He flinched, and smiled. She touched his forehead, then the other cheek, passing her fingers over slowly so that every inch had been touched. Eyelids, nose, chin, lips... His mouth twitched as she touched the sensitive skin of his lips. Tears ran down his cheeks. She stared at the tears for a long moment, fingers resting forgotten on his mouth. She caught her breath when his lips moved, pressing against her fingers gently. She hastily pulled them away, her face suddenly hot.

Keeping her thoughts carefully hidden, she leaned forward and kissed his moist cheek. He gasped and opened his eyes quickly.

 _That was from your mother,_ she told him, and smiled.

He blushed and lifted the mask to his face. "Thank you, Bunny."

_Any time._

He froze with his mask half on, looking at her over the edge of it. "Really?"

Her face was burning. Had she meant to say that?

 _I'll see you later._ She started past.

"Bunny..."

She sighed and patted his shoulder as she passed. He caught her hand and held it. Her heart pounded. Inexplicably frightened, she pulled away and he gently let her go.

 _Bye!_ She hurried into her room and put the folding curtain across the doorway, then sank down on the other side of it, trembling, wondering what had just happened. Were they ever going to have a conversation that didn't end with her breaking down?

The next day, Peter VI and Michael Reed installed a real, visible door, complete with lock, on each Walter Girl's bedroom. When asked why, Peter VI shrugged and said he didn't want to take any chances. Paige blushed, to the amusement of the other girls. Bunny, on the other hand, was nowhere to be found until the work was done and the workers gone.


	11. The Madness of Peter Walter VI - pt 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It has been suggested that Walter Manor would fall apart without the Walter Girls... that's only a slight exaggeration. Boys will be boys... and scientists will be scientists.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got the most peculiar idea for another installment before WRX... and I'm a little mad myself, maybe a lot. So now that I'm trying to come down from that WRX high and face all the decluttering jobs and various doctor appointments and back-to-school shopping for the kids... yeah, I'm hiding inside another fairy tale. It'll all get done, honest...
> 
> And I'm playing God again... my characters are just merrily shuffling further and further from canon. Walter Girl who? Say, I know another Walter Girl named Bunny... but they aren't much alike otherwise...
> 
> I'm posting it in 8 sections because it ran long... 8 bite-sized pieces. In them you will go through humor, feels, possible terror (probably not, I'm no Edgar Allen Poe here), and huge amounts of severe skepticism. But I hope it's reasonably fun. I had fun with it, anywho.

"Good-bye, Paige."

"I've got my cell."

"Good-bye..."

"It's fully charged, so call any time. Seriously."

Michael Reed stood, arms folded, staring down at the Walter Girls as they hesitated in the doorway. Paige stared back, seemingly unable to force herself out.

"No, really, you can go," he said, bemused. "Have fun. Bring us cookies."

"Make 'em y-y-yourself," said Rabbit.

"No!" cried Paige and Carolina as one. Bunny smiled.

"Rabbit?" He looked around. Rabbit wasn't there.

"Michael..." Paige said. "No baking. You already have pie anyway."

"I wasn't gonna bake! Hatchy might, maybe..."

She looked uneasily around the entrance hall. "Where's The Spine?"

"In the kitchen, drinking a fifth of Scotch. Of course, he's only getting started for the night..."

She rolled her eyes. "Okay, seriously?"

Michael laughed incredulously. "I don't know where he is! Somewhere. Does it matter?"

"Look, I just want to make sure you all don't burn the place down."

"Really? Really, Paige? We're not idiots."

Paige gazed at him placidly. Carolina snickered. Bunny grinned.

"You're gonna hurt my feelings in a minute." Michael turned. "Spine! Hey! Mommy won't leave until she gives you instructions!"

"Shut up, Michael."

"There, that did it. Totally hurt my feelings. See me crying?"

The Spine stumped down the central staircase the next moment, face split in a wide grin.

Paige frowned. "You're in a good mood..."

"Is that so unusual?" asked The Spine.

"No... it's just a certain look you get sometimes... when the thing you're happy about is something that someone else _isn't_ happy about..."

"Miss Paige..."

"Usually Rabbit."

"I'm not happy about Rabbit..." He grinned, if anything, wider.

"Where is he?"

The Spine laughed.

"Everything will be alright, Miss Paige. How's the box working?"

"Fine," said Rabbit. Bunny beamed at him.

Michael looked all around the hall, his expression puzzled. " _Where_ is that coming from?"

"Great!" said The Spine with what sounded like barely suppressed laughter. "Use it well!"

"Spine!" snapped Paige, panic edging her voice.

She sighed in relief with the next breath as Rabbit trotted down the stairs creakily and scooped her into his arms. "I was wondering where you were! We're just leaving."

Rabbit smiled and kissed her. The Spine shook his head.

"Every single time you see her, Rabbit? _Every time_? A week ago you'd never kissed a woman..."

"Cut him some slack, Spine. He's got 117 years to make up for!" Michael laughed.

"It's getting embarrassing, Mr. Reed..." said The Spine soberly, looking at him askance.

"I think it's kinda cute..." said Carolina. Michael nodded.

"Cute, yes… but he doesn't stop!" cried The Spine.

Rabbit was still happily fastened to the Walter Girl's face with no sign of separation.

"Knock it off, Rabbit!"

Rabbit disengaged from Paige's lips with a sound like a bubble popping and looked around as though he'd just come out of stasis. He smiled sheepishly.

"We do have to get going..." Paige said, as he reluctantly let her go. Her face was flushed. "See you tomorrow, Rabbit."

He nodded, gently kissed her hand, and held it as she walked away... letting go at last as though releasing a butterfly into the sky. He waved and stood in the doorway, watching as they got into their taxi. As it pulled out of the gate and onto the road, his shoulders sagged, his lip trembled, and oil began to trickle down his cheeks as he shuddered with silent sobs.*

"Aw, Rabbit!" said Michael.

The Spine sighed helplessly, put his arm around Rabbit, and turned him toward the game room. "C'mon, maverick. It's just one night. Go on, the others are waiting. Steve is dungeon master as usual. It'll cheer you up."

Rabbit shook his head and shuffled off to join Hatchworth, Matt and Steve.

"Um, Spine... any particular reason Rabbit isn't saying anything?" Michael asked as they followed. "It's starting to creep me out."

The Spine chuckled. "Brotherly generosity, Mr. Reed. Seems Bunny is still not fluent in sign language, and Rabbit didn't want her to have to write everything she wanted to say. So he took it upon himself to make her a text-to-speech device. I was actually very impressed with the electrical work, but it needed a voice. So of course he made the ultimate sacrifice..."

Michael stopped. "Oh, no... he didn't..."

The Spine laughed out loud before catching himself and muffling the sound. Rabbit wasn't that far ahead.

"The entire voice module?" Michael whispered. "How in the world? And she took it with her?"

"She could hardly say no after such an act, could she? She never can say no to Rabbit..."

"But we have stock voices in the system! Some of them are women, for cryin' out loud!"

"That would make too much sense, Mr. Reed.” He grinned. “It's rather sweet when you think about it. It's something a child would do. Without hesitation, giving something they value to someone they love."

"Yeah, that's sweet... So why’re you laughing?"

"Well, obviously, because my older brother acted like a child." He turned toward the game room once more. "Shall we?"

"Yeah... Guess it's gonna be a lot quieter this time without all of Rabbit's character voices."

The Spine's smile faded as he followed Michael.

 

Peter stood at the end of a long hall, looking out the window as they climbed into the taxi. They had needed a break. And he needed them to have a break. Paige and Carolina were sharp, capable, smart girls. It was hard enough to get around them. Bunny, though, when she scented trouble, was impossible.

He smiled. "She'd say the same thing about me. I can almost hear her saying it... but I'm the only one who's ever heard Bunny," he murmured, long accustomed to voicing all of his thoughts with little fear of being heard by others. "She does have kind of a voice... sort of low and soft..."

He swallowed and loosened his collar. She looked up at the manor as the driver put her garment bag into the trunk. Peter stepped away from the window, peering around from the side of the frame.

"Why's she looking back? Why's she looking up _here_? Did she see me? Great, now she'll think I'm stalking her... ugh... Like she needs another reason to hate me... She already thinks I'm weird, and mean, and manipulative... Maybe I shouldn't have kissed her fingers. _That_ was impulsive, Pete. Here's this nice girl giving you the gift of feeling like you still have a real face and you've gotta go and be creepy and kiss her fingertips."

He sighed as the taxi turned down the driveway, and dared to move closer to the window. He put one hand on the pane and rested his forehead against it by way of the mask, watching the taxi turn onto the road. His breath, puffing through the keyhole, fogged the glass. "Of course, she _already_ thought I was creepy. Who asks a woman to touch his face? That’s card-carrying creepy behavior… so... why did she do it?

"I couldn't really explain it to her... She would have felt bad. How do you say, 'Bunny, I've had a hard day, I've been to Hell and back, I'm spiraling, if I don't feel some human contact soon I'm going to go insane?' without her figuring out it was because I’d just talked to her dad? The jerk…" He watched the taxi as it drove away. "I wanted a hug, really... no one ever hugs me anymore... and she can, but she probably wouldn't... so what do I do? ‘Hey, could you touch my face?’ Stupid, Peter...

"Good lord, that trip to Bip was hard! How did I keep from killing the man? How could a brute like that have raised such a beautiful woman? She's so quiet about it. It must be in there..." He shivered. "Does she have nightmares, but no one can hear her screaming? Would I be able to tell even if I was in the same room? Or even in the same..."

He blushed, eyes still on the car, far up the road now. "And now you really _are_ stalking her, you degenerate..."

The taxi turned left and was gone.

"Why did she do it..." he wondered again, and realized he was puckering his lips. "She's right. I am creepy… and weird."

He sighed, turned on one heel and made straight for the most remote of the labs, removing his mask as he walked. The sample was prepared and waiting. The Walter Girls were away. The men and robots had a game of D&D going on the other side of the manor. And Peter Walter VI had an experiment in mind.

 

" _My_ dragon..."

"Remember, it's not your turn, Hatchy. Alright, Rabbit... your Pooka is facing a whole army alone. She's freaking out..."

They waited. Rabbit folded his arms and frowned at all of them.

"Oh, right, sorry..." Steve muttered.

The Spine sighed and tossed his tie onto the chair where he had left his hat and vest. It was more fun when Rabbit could do all the funny voices...

"What _about_ **my** dragon?"

"Again, _not_ your turn, Hatchy," Steve said patiently. "Alright, so she's freaking out. What'll you use?"

Rabbit pointed.

"Strength, huh? Well, she's got that sonic bark... okay, roll. Not bad..."

"Is it my turn yet?"

"No, Hatchy!"

 

Purple Matter was still a mystery, even more so than the Blue Matter that had been studied and used by Walters for over 100 years. It had somehow enabled Bunny to travel from Bip to Walter Manor, giving her at least a little ability to alter human thoughts, and a strange resistance to the Blue Matter vortex that tormented Peter. And he had realized... when? Somewhere between meeting her and that punch in the face, he was pretty sure... that there was something else tormenting him.

"How would it look if I told her now? Desperate, that's how it would look. Like I was getting fixated on her because I have no other options. I mean, even if she didn't hate me... she'd always wonder, even if she was in love with me..." He grinned and shook his head. "Yeah, that's hilarious, Pete. Dream big, buddy. She'd kill me in my sleep if I said something like that anyway... But maybe if she doesn't hate me entirely... I dunno... am I talking to myself again?"

He was rather relieved that no one answered. Now and then, in Walter Manor, something did. And once in a while he wasn't sure it was coming from outside his head.

Peter switched on the heat lamp beneath the sample. The crystals began to glow. He threw a switch and a wide ray of pure purple shot straight up into a black ceramic panel, where just enough was absorbed for it to remain stable. He looked, hopeful, into the rich purple light.

"I told her I was okay with helping her move out if she wants, but if this works... well, I can tell her the truth. And she won't think it's just because she's the only woman who can locate my lips." He chuckled dryly. "Here goes nothing."

He made a few adjustments, took a deep breath, and leaned forward. It tingled at first. Then with a snap, the tingling twisted into pain. He hissed sharply but bore it without flinching, pressing forward until his whole face was inside the purple matter particle ray. It felt like his face was being ripped apart... and then it got worse. He shook but held his position. It had to maintain contact for a minimum amount of time… the pain intensified but he stayed… it felt like his skull was splitting in two… it was too much to endure… ten seconds more…

Peter screamed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *to see Rabbit actually cry like this, look up the band's park performances of "I Don't Want to Set the World on Fire" on Youtube, the video marked 5-30-10. Rabbit is particularly broken up when Upgrade eats his microphone! It's adorable.


	12. The Madness of Peter Walter VI - pt 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Has everyone just completely lost their minds? No, but give 'em time...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the record, I know jack-diddly-squat about D&D. I know all about fantasy worlds and characters, oh ever so much, but not about gameplay. So I made crap up. Maybe someday... And I forgot to mention that Rabbit likes Steve to play "I am the Doctor" during his turn... ;)

The Jon was nearing the end of his term as Mayor of Biscuit Town. It had been a good run. The citizens were talking about re-election. Upgrade and Sam were all for it.

Upgrade got to roam about as she pleased and feed birds in the park... she had finally figured out which creatures liked bread crumbs. And Sam had thus been free to explore a bit on his own, perform in clubs, and not pick up a single sandwich. Mayor The Jon had _people_ for that.

Sam had been skeptical about The Jon as a politician, until he met the Biscuiteers. In a town where a unicycle was a common form of transportation, there was a hula hoop statue in the town square, and the chocolate corn dog was considered a delicacy, The Jon was comparatively stable. It seemed to him like something from Looking-Glass-Land. Upgrade said it looked like Ponyville. The Jon said he thought it was both. It was a very nice but very strange little town.

One evening, The Jon called a city council emergency meeting to address the whistle shortage. People just weren't whistling anymore. Sam was glad he didn't have a gig. He hated to miss a Biscuit Town city council meeting. Unlike the ones back home, they were never dull.

An Important Person had just stood to carry on for a few minutes on the subject of recycling, a topic which Sam couldn't wait to hear, when there was a flash of purple light and The Jon was launched, still in his chair, ten feet back from the table. The chair fell over backward. Many hands helped him up. Sam hurried up to make sure he was okay.

The Jon looked disoriented. He turned to the Important Person and said, "I'm sorry for the disruption... You were saying...?

Sam frowned. That didn't seem right.

"Oh, yes, Mayor. I was saying that if we concentrate on recycling old whistles..."

The Jon snorted.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Did I really...? I'm sorry. I..." He laughed. "I can't believe I scrambled the whole town over whistling! And you came? That's incredible!"

"Mayor?"

"Everyone, please... my apologies. You can all go home."

"Jon?" asked Sam.

"Yes, Sam? You came too? Why, Sam? Why would you encourage this? Ah, but you always did enjoy a good laugh."

The city council and assembled citizens were looking on in shock. Murmuring broke out throughout the room.

Sam jumped up onto the platform and announced loudly, "Sorry, everyone! It looks like the Mayor sustained a little damage in the fall. I'd better get him back to the house and check it out. Carry on, please."

The murmurs took on a sympathetic tone and Sam and The Jon headed back to the house.

"Jon? What happened back there?" Sam asked once they were well away.

Jon looked worried. "I don't know, Sam. But it doesn't bode well."

"Okay, that's just freaky. Why are you making sense?"

"I don't know," The Jon sighed. "But if I can't get back to the way I was, I won't stand a chance of re-election."

"Well, yeah, at least!" Sam shrugged. "Guess I'll send Peter VI a message in the morning if it doesn't clear up on its own."

The Jon nodded and frowned. A chill went down Sam's spine.

 

"Hatchy, your dragon..."

"He eats everything! The end."

"No, Hatchy..."

Rabbit sighed. This wasn't any fun.

"Oh, hey Peter," said Michael. "How long have you been there?"

"A few minutes..."

"Wow, you came in so quietly I didn't even notice!"

"Roll, Hatchy!" growled Steve.

"Which one?"

"I could help..." Peter said suddenly. "I could program Hatchy with the rules of the game..."

"It really isn't that simple, Peter," said Michael. "It's okay. He'll figure it out."

Peter nodded and stared at the game.

"Rabbit will help me," said Hatchworth.

Rabbit shrugged and rolled for his brother.

"You're awfully quiet, Rabbit..." said Peter.

"He downloaded his entire voice module into a text-to-voice box so that Bunny could talk to the other girls," said Steve with a grin.

Rabbit stuck out his tongue.

"Oh... that's… that’s so..." Peter's voice broke.

"Peter? You okay? You seem a little off," Steve asked.

He sniffled. "I'm fine... Y'know... I think we have a back-up voice module for Rabbit."

Rabbit perked up.

"What?" asked Michael. "I didn't know about that."

"It's not in the network... it's... I have it up in the lab. Come on, Rabbit."

"Well, hurry. It's his turn soon."

Rabbit jumped up and followed Peter, for once eager for maintenance. He was accustomed to being the life of the party and so far he hadn't managed so much as a giggle from the others, except at his expense.

At the lab, Peter directed Rabbit toward a maintenance chair. Rabbit sat and removed his bandana. Peter carefully guided a wire around the armrest and opened a panel on Rabbit's cranium.

"Put your arms on the armrests. They're getting in the way," he murmured as he plugged in the wire.

Rabbit complied. Two seconds later, the chair restraints clanged into position. He looked at Peter in shock.

"That's better."

Rabbit tugged at the wrist restraints and looked at Peter questioningly.

“Don’t do that. It slows the transfer.” He turned back to his computer.

What kind of transfer?

This wasn't funny. Rabbit writhed, trying to break even one restraint, but this chair, like the others, had been built to contain more than the full strength of The Spine in the event of severe and violent malfunction. A clockwork robot like Rabbit wasn't going to be able to break it. He looked again at Peter, hoping to catch his eye.

Peter was already looking back. He could tell, because his mask was off. The man's eyes... yes, he could see his eyes... flickered purple.

"Now just sit tight, Rabbit. This won't hurt." He turned and began to type on the keyboard.

Rabbit tried to activate his wi-fi, but the signal was dead. Of course... The Spine had locked him out when he wouldn't quit trying to get one of the other robots to do his talking for him. He'd thought he was being funny.

"Just relax, Rabbit."

He struggled, knowing it was useless. Something was very wrong. He couldn't scream, couldn't wifi, couldn't fight, couldn't escape.

But he'd be danged if he'd just relax.

"You're only making this harder," Peter said in the gentle, eerie voice he'd been using since he turned up at the game.

Rabbit was glad to hear it. He meant to make it as hard as possible!

Something began to buzz inside his head. He felt like he was being sucked out of it… Terrified, he thrashed now with all his strength. One armrest pinged slightly loose but didn’t give.

_Let me go! Someone help me! Spine! Spine, you jerk! Help me!_

"It's only going to take a little longer... there we go!"

Rabbit gulped out one silent sob of terror as he was pulled out of his own skull.

 

"The Spine?"

He answered his wifi. "Yes, Peter?"

"I'm having a little trouble with Rabbit. Could you come down? Oh, and ask Hatchy to bring up a sandwich in about ten minutes. I'm getting hungry."

"Certainly, Peter," The Spine sent back, and passed the message on to Hatchworth before heading up to the lab.

Steve sighed as The Spine walked out and Hatchworth headed to the kitchen for a plate. "So... Megaman 2?" Matt and Michael shrugged.


	13. The Madness of Peter Walter VI - pt 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What in the name of sanity... ooo, bad choice of words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is all I'm posting until later on tonight. The story is completed, but life is calling.

Bunny was dressing for fencing lessons. The girls had rolled their eyes at the idea of taking a posh hotel room and sitting up all night telling tales, watching movies, and doing hair and makeup. They wanted to have some _real_ fun. Bunny had liked the first idea. Sounded relaxing.

But fencing was pretty exciting, and they were, after all, at a resort. She hoped she could find time for a little pampering at some point. Maybe after the swing dancing. She insisted upon that. Her new dress needed to be used right on its first night out.

_I wonder if Peter ever dances…_

She asked the girls if they should call home. To her surprise, Paige laughed and said no.

"The Spine can keep an eye on the others just fine! I always act like that so that Michael and Steve won't get too lazy... they usually clean up a little before we get back because they think I'll blow a gasket if they don’t."

Bunny sighed in exasperation. Was everyone in Walter Manor playing head games?

 

The video games that had replaced the D&D game were going well. Reasonably well.

"Dang it!"

"Pay attention, man!"

"I am..."

Peter walked in, eating a sandwich.

"Peter! Where are the others? We were in the middle of a game, y’know," said Steve.

"Did something go wrong?" asked Michael.

Peter shook his head. He picked up a random bottle from the table and took a drink.

"Hey!" said Matt.

"He drank your drink, dude..." said Michael.

It hit all three of them at once.

"Peter!" cried Michael and Steve.

"Didn't he lose his face?" asked Matt at the same time.

Peter looked disgusted with Matt's beverage as he set it down. He saw a bottle of Pepsi nearby. "Close enough, I guess..." he mumbled, drinking it.

"Peter!"

"Hm?"

"What?" cried Michael, pointing.

"This has been the weirdest night..." said Matt.

"Oh... yeah. My face. Yeah, I figured out how to get it back. In't it great?" He grinned.

"Well... yeah!" Michael beamed. "Congratulations, man! That's awesome!"

The others agreed but no one made a move to shake hands or bro-hug or anything of the sort... there was just something not right. It hung in the room like a fog. Maybe it was the way Peter continued to gnaw on his sandwich and suck back the last of Michael's Pepsi. Or the way he'd just sort of wandered in rather than running in screaming with joy that he had his face back. Or the lingering unanswered question that Michael pressed now once more as his smile slowly dropped into an uneasy expression.

"Peter... How'd it go with Rabbit? You called The Spine up to help and Hatchy up for a sandwich, remember? _Where are they?_ "

"Oh! That's the best part! You'll love this..."

He pulled a remote from his pocket and aimed it at the big TV. Their game vanished. Even as they cried out in dismay, something took its place.

It looked like some kind of virtual pet simulation. In it were three babies. One was a toddler, one was crawling, and one lay in a cradle.

"Come on, Pete! This is for six-year-old girls, man..." complained Michael.

"Come on, aren't they cute?"

"Yeah, I guess... kinda weird-looking."

The toddler looked at them with a mournful expression. He had one blue eye and one green eye. The crawling baby sat back on his diaper and fixed his green eyes on them with a look that did not match his age. The baby in the cradle couldn't seem to figure out how to cry. He was trying, but it came out as sort of a sputter.

"That's really creepy..." muttered Steve. Matt nodded.

"Peter... tell me I'm crazy, man. I can't be seeing what I think I am..." said Michael.

"Isn't it great? I crafted this simulation to help with a project I'm working on. I'm going to build them better bodies! I just want them to be the right ages..."

"Wait, what?"

"So what this is, is to determine their respective maturity levels. They'll age to their correct ages and stop."

The three stared at him. The toddler on the screen had tumbled over and was silently sobbing on the floor. The older baby crawled to him and clumsily patted him on his back. They already looked a little older. The baby in the cradle was sitting up and sucking on his fist. Peter punched a button and they all received bottles. The youngest happily accepted his. The second looked at the bottle thoughtfully before stuffing it into his mouth. The toddler sat up, threw the bottle at the screen where it shattered, and continued to silently cry.

"Peter! Get them out of there!" cried Michael. “I can’t believe this…”

"But it's not done..."

"They're not babies! They're older than we are. This is sick! It's... it's scary! What's come over you?"

"Look at Rabbit..." said Matt. "He still doesn't have a voice..."

"He hasn't stopped crying since you switched it on, almost..." Steve added. "He doesn't want to be in there. Come on, Peter!"

"They don't need new bodies! I'm sure they don't even want them!"

"Oh, no... look at Rabbit now..." Matt gasped.

Rabbit had fallen over and stopped moving. As they watched, he put his thumb into his mouth.

"He just fell asleep. Shouldn't have cried so much." Peter popped the last of his sandwich into his mouth.

The Spine crawled to the screen and put one fat hand onto it, his green eyes fixed on Peter. Peter looked back benignly. The baby sat back, still staring, then turned and crawled to Rabbit, lay down next to him, and went to sleep.

"See, cute. Wanna watch 'em grow up?"

"You're not going to stop this, are you?" asked Michael quietly.

"Well, no, not until I gather the data... What would be the point?"

"Where are their old... Where are their bodies, Peter?"

"Oh, I'm gonna need help with those! I want to put them into the vault, but they're too heavy to even inch onto a dolly to roll them there. I figured the four of us..."

"We're not gonna help you lock their bodies in the vault, stupid!"

"Why not?" Peter looked at him, wide-eyed.

"Why not..." Michael echoed faintly, feeling suddenly very sick.

"Yeah, why not?" They all stared at him in shock. "Those bodies are over 100 years old! If my calculations are correct, I can make better ones, organic ones! Think of it, the first cyborgs… And then Bunny really will have brothers…”

“Peter… that’s… that’s nuts!” Steve muttered.

“I feel sick…” said Michael.

“Nuts? Sick? What are you talking about? The thing you three don't seem to get is that this plan is genius. Absolute... genius..."

There was a flash of purple light.

 

Bunny stumbled. Her dance partner caught her and helped her to a chair.

"You okay, hon?" he asked. "You need some water?"

She nodded and touched her head. Paige hurried over as he went to get her a drink.

"Got a little light-headed?" she asked. "Well, you have been dancing for a couple of hours!"

Bunny made the sign for home. Something wasn't right. Her heart was pounding, and she was sure it wasn't from the dancing.

"You want to go home?" Bunny nodded. "Already? I thought we were going to do the spa thing after this. To tell the truth..." She sank into a chair and slipped her shoes off. "It's sounding pretty good."

It did sound pretty good. Bunny held her hand up by her head as though holding a phone.

"Alright, I'll call. They're just gonna tell me everything's alright."

Paige left the club, still shoeless, to make the call. Bunny's dance partner brought her the water meanwhile and politely excused himself once he was sure she was alright.

Paige padded back in rolling her eyes. "Yeah, they're fine. Michael gave me a lot of static. He only does that when he thinks I'm worrying too much."

Bunny signed a question. "Oh," Paige went on, "he said that Peter had gotten his face back, that they'd all quit playing D&D, locked the robots in the vault, and were playing with a virtual pet game Peter had invented."

Paige laughed. Bunny frowned and shook her head.

"Yeah, pretty tasteless, I know. But that just proves they're fine. If they weren't, he'd totally act like everything was cool."

It made sense in an inverted sort of way... Bunny sighed and swallowed her lingering discomfort. They waved Carolina over and headed for the spa.


	14. The Madness of Peter Walter VI - pt 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Awkward stages for robots...

Sam was having an actual conversation with The Jon. It was the weirdest feeling.

Jon wasn't dumb, it turned out… he'd always suspected this, but it was hard to tell madness from stupidity sometimes. Turns out, Jon just chose what he wanted to care about. Right now, he was worried about Biscuit Town.

"It's not like towns back home, Sam. They don't need Abraham Lincoln here. They need a cross between Abraham Lincoln and C3P0."

"Yeah, I saw that video..."

"Well, that's just it. They need a leader who keeps them silly. Silliness is a big part of their civic pride. Where would this universe be without silliness? I ask you, Sam. Think of the stupidity that can be avoided if people just recognize the silliness of the situation and choose to be bigger people."

Sam contentedly sipped an ice water as they sat on the upper balcony, looking out at the night. "I never thought I’d say this, but that’s a good point, The Jon. So where do you stand on it? Are you feeling silly right now?"

"No..." The Jon pinched the bridge of his nose in a gesture of stress unlike any Sam would have ever associated with The Jon before. "What do I do, Sam? I haven't felt so sober since I was activated! What's wrong with my vortex?"

"Your vortex? Is that where this is coming from?"

"That's where it all comes from! You didn't check?"

"I looked. It's blue and swirly, with a fish and a hot dog. Same as always."

The Jon looked at him reproachfully. "You glanced at it."

"To tell you the truth, buddy," Sam confessed. "I'm a little afraid to look too closely at it."

"Sam... I need you to do just that. Please."

Sam sighed. "Alright, come on. Let's get a look."

They went inside.

 

He was having a hard time focusing. He knew something was worrying him. He knew his name was Spine, for some reason. He knew he was six years old. He knew his brother was eight, and named Rabbit. For some reason. And that Rabbit couldn't speak. He kept trying to think things at him instead, but he didn't answer. He wasn't sure why he thought he would...

His little brother was five and named Hatchy. For some reason. Hatchy didn't seem worried about anything. He was playing ball. He would throw it, and _something_ would throw it back.

And there was a big window on one side of their room. If he looked closely, he could see four big men in the dark there, smiling and pressing buttons. They were kind of scary, but kind of familiar. They tried to get him to play and he wanted to do it, but he was worried. His big brother didn't play. He cried, mostly. He seemed to always be afraid. So Spine held his hand and looked at the men with a sulky pout, to match Rabbit's, and waited. He didn't know what he was waiting for.

He heard a ringing sound and tried to answer it with his head. One of the men answered a telephone, and Spine frowned. He was pretty sure that he liked to answer it. With his head. For some reason.

Rabbit squeezed his hand as though he understood.

 

Bunny was almost asleep. Her chin touched the warm mud and she jerked awake. Paige and Carolina laughed.

"We were waiting to see how far you got," said Carolina. "We were gonna save you, don't worry."

Bunny smiled. She pointed up.

"Up?"

She sighed, wiped her hand with a towel, and reached for the text-to-voice box.

"Let's g-g-get out of here and go to our room. I'm exhausted," said Rabbit's voice.

They giggled. Rabbit had even downloaded his stutter.

As they got out of the mud bath, Bunny felt worry tickling at her insides once more. She made the phone gesture at Paige.

"They're fine. Come on, I need food! Besides, we'll be going home in a few hours anyway."

Bunny nodded and sighed. She felt all wrong inside, but maybe she was just hungry...

 

Rabbit was angry. He didn't know what Peter thought he was doing. And why weren't the others stopping him?

For some reason, The Spine and Hatchworth didn't seem to understand what had happened. The Spine wasn't going along with the whole thing like Hatchy was, but he didn't seem to know he was a robut, either. Maybe Peter had switched them off before he did it... if so, that was something. He didn't want his brothers to have felt the terror he had...

He still held The Spine's hand, even though they were older now. Hatchworth seemed to have stopped growing. He looked about eight years old. The Spine was closer to twelve, and was having a heck of a growth spurt.

Hatchy was chattering... he did that a lot. The Spine answered him sometimes but mostly just let him run on. Sometimes Rabbit noticed The Spine looking seriously at him, eyebrows lowered in concentration, and he had a feeling he knew why.

 _Ya can't communicate that way, dumb'ns... meatbags don't have wifi..._ He felt a twinge of anger at his brother, too. _If ya hadn't shut it off in the first place, ya wouldn't be in here! Ya had to be funny..._

Rabbit had hair. He didn't want it, but he had it. The Spine seemed to like his. It was black and shiny. Hatchy's was bright orange. He'd taken a marker and drawn a little mustache on his face. That was encouraging... maybe he did remember a little.

The Spine finally let go of Rabbit's hand when his stomach growled loudly, and accepted the sandwich they gave him. Rabbit sighed and did the same. He didn't think they'd die without the imaginary food, but maybe the weird, empty feeling in his chassis would go away if he fed it. Well, it wasn't exactly a chassis... It was a lot like one of those meatbags sitting out there, who were throwing food and toys at them every few minutes.

The sandwich wasn't bad. It did help with the strange gnawing feeling that had been worsening lately. After a few bites, he felt another wrench... his body had them now and then. They hurt. He gasped with the pain and dropped his sandwich. The Spine looked at him sharply.

"Are you alright, Rabbit?" he asked. His voice cracked.

The pain passed, and a chime sounded. They'd heard it before... when Hatchworth reached the age he was now.

He could just hear Peter say, "Fifteen years old. I could have called that."

"Whoa, look at The Spine!"

"I wish I could have gotten through puberty that fast," chuckled Matt.

Rabbit looked down... no, over at The Spine. He was almost as tall as Rabbit all of a sudden, and according to the lack of chime, still growing.

_Aw... that's just not fair..._

 

"Well, I never saw _that_ coming. You say it wasn't like that before?"

"Sam! Are you telling me you _never_ did more than glance at the vortex before?"

"Uh... yeah. Kinda. Well... Look, Jon, that was Michael's job! Cut me some slack here."

The Jon sighed. "I only have one vortex. I only ever had one. I never had a second one turning the opposite direction behind it." He looked in the mirror. "Aw, look! Look at my koi! It's terrified!"

"Looks the same to me... hey, did you see that? Purple..."

"Purple?" Jon's eyes were wide. A purple streak circled the counter-vortex and vanished. "I'm afraid, Sam. Something bad has happened..."

"Well, it's not right, that's for dang sure. I think we'd better get back to Walter Manor, Jon. I have a feeling this has something to do with them."

Jon nodded. "Who else?" he asked with a mirthless smile.


	15. The Madness of Peter Walter VI - pt 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Whoa... feels? Or...

Bunny and the others slept later than they'd intended and didn't get back to Walter Manor until eleven in the morning. The place was silent.

"They're probably all passed out in the game room," said Paige. Her casual tone belied her feelings as she hurried to make sure it was true, the other girls trailing behind.

There they found Michael, Steve, and Matt fast asleep on the couches. Sitting cross-legged on the floor was a fourth man, staring at the big TV. He turned when they entered.

"Peter!" cried Paige.

"Bunny!" he cried in response. He leaped to his feet, vaulted the couch, and swept her into a hug. She dropped her bag, shocked.

The other girls laughed. "Oh no way!" cried Paige. "It was _true_? Congratulations!"

“Thanks…” he said absently. “I missed you, Bunny…”

"Whoa, Peter, let her breathe!" Carolina giggled.

"Why don't you show her how you _really_ feel about her?"

Peter looked at her blankly. "Okay." He looked at Bunny, smiled, and kissed her on the lips.

They gasped.

"Peter, no! Did you _not_ get the sarcasm?" Paige cried.

"Aw, man... He's so dead..."

Bunny's heart pounded in her ears. Her knees seemed to have turned to liquid.

"Why isn't she pushing him away?" whispered Carolina.

Bunny pulled herself together. _Give me one reason why I shouldn't knee you in the groin._

He pulled away, laughing. "Because you're too sweet!"

Bunny put her hand on her forehead. She needed a nap.

Paige tore her eyes from the two of them and looked at the TV. "What the nuts?" she cried. "They _were_ playing with virtual pets? But... they're not pets... Are you playing Sims?"

"Of my own creating. Check them out!" He sprang over the couch again, nearly stepping on Michael Reed's face.

They walked closer. On the screen was a smiling, ginger boy with a little mustache drawn on his face. He was playing with blocks. On the other side of the screen, a surly looking teenager with light brown hair huddled against a tall man with dark hair that tended to want to drift into his eyes. As they came closer, the teenager looked up. His eyes, one blue and one green, widened. He ran to the screen, flattening himself against it, and mouthed, unmistakably, _Paige!_

"Rabbit!" screamed Paige. She ran to the screen and tried to talk to him, but he was busy having hysterics. He screamed silently and beat on the screen, or whatever was in his way inside the program, and sank to the floor, sobbing. Bunny, looking closely, could just read his lips.

_Let us out... please... I'm afraid..._

She glared at Peter.

"It's almost done," he said pleasantly. "I'm sure that The Spine will reach his correct age any time now, and then I can begin work on their new bodies."

"Their what?" cried Carolina. Paige was trying to get Rabbit to look at her.

A chime sounded. The Spine, now comforting Rabbit, looked slightly thinner and more angular. He looked up in surprise.

"Aha!" cried Peter, looking at the screen. A set of statistics for each one was at the top of the screen. "Thirty. Not surprising."

Bunny saw Rabbit look up sharply and mouth, _What?_ He looked indignant.

If The Spine was amused by this, he showed no signs of it. He helped Rabbit stand and looked down at the Walter Girls while Peter worked busily on a tablet.

"I know you..."

"Spine, it's us... Paige, Carolina, and Bunny! You know who we are, right?" asked Carolina.

"So that _is_ my name..." he said with a nervous little smile.

"Hi! I'm Hatchy!" cried the little boy, waving. "Can I have a cookie?"

Bunny smiled at him the best she could. What had Peter done? Why couldn't The Spine remember who he was? It was clear that Rabbit did... and he was in hysterics because of it. How long had he been suffering?

The Spine looked at them with a lost, slightly fearful expression. "We're not supposed to be here... Something's not right. I can't remember... These are my brothers, I know that... Rabbit... is that his name, really?"

She nodded.

"Of course... He's always afraid. He knows something terrible but he can't talk. I... I'm kind of scared. That's embarrassing, I think..."

Little Hatchworth nodded, clearly at least as confused as his older brother.

"Rabbit..." said Paige mournfully, putting her hand on the screen. He knelt and put his hand to hers.

Carolina said slowly, "It's alright, Spine. We're here. We're your friends."

"You are?" He sounded as if he might cry.

Bunny had heard enough. She slapped Peter sharply on the cheek and snatched away his tablet.

_I see you've finally decided to go pants-crapping insane! Put them back in their bodies now, before anything becomes permanent!_

"Their bodies are perfectly safe. But I'm making new ones! They'll match them perfectly, and they'll be human!"

Bunny stared in horror. Fighting tears, she thought, _Human? How? No... don't explain. You really have gone insane..._

"Ye gods... Michael said their bodies were in the vault!" Paige gasped. "He was telling the truth, all of it! How could he have been okay with all this? Did you do something to them?"

"Don't be silly. I just explained the cleverness of my plan and they saw it my way."

Bunny had a bad feeling about this.

"Peter..." Paige pleaded, "don't do this! Just put them back! Look at Rabbit!"

"It's going to be fine," he replied, taking his tablet back from Bunny.

"No!” she cried brokenly. “I want them back the way they _were_!"

"Paige... Carolina... Bunny... Don't be afraid. My plan is absolute _genius_."

His eyes flashed purple. Bunny barely managed to suppress a gasp. That _was_ how he had done it!

Paige and Carolina looked dazed.

"Why am I crying?" said Paige. She looked up. "It's okay, Rabbit. Peter's a genius."

"Yes, an absolute genius," agreed Carolina.

Rabbit stared at them for a long moment. Then he crumpled to the floor. The Spine looked confused as he sank down next to his brother and hugged him. She had a feeling it had become habit for The Spine from very early in the simulation. Some of his memories were gone but his personality remained very much intact.

Bunny wanted to tell him it was okay, that she still knew what was going on, but instead she did one of the hardest things she'd done in her life.

She nodded and smiled as though she agreed with the other girls. She had to force herself not to look away from Rabbit's stricken expression.

Peter, satisfied, said, "Right. Genius. If you'll excuse me, I have to get started. You can play with them if you like."

"Nah, I'm exhausted," said Carolina.

"Me, too," Paige agreed. "See you later, Rabbit!" She blew him a kiss as the two headed for their rooms.

Rabbit lunged at the screen and made one last futile attempt to call out to Paige. Silent tears ran down his cheeks. He buried his face in his brother's shoulder and wept.

Bunny waited a few seconds after Peter followed the girls out, then crept closer to the screen and waved. The Spine looked at her blankly. Hatchy waved back.

She tugged out the text-to-speech device and lowered the volume. Rabbit, at The Spine's urging, turned to see. He looked down at the device longingly as she typed a message to him in his own voice.

"I remember, big brothers! I'll get help."

Rabbit's face was tragic with relief. _Bunny..._ he mouthed. _Find Peter V!_

Of course! Peter VI's father! He was sometimes hard to locate in the Manor, as he and his wife often went exploring in the many corridors and hidden passages. They'd been gone for two weeks so far this time.

She nodded and patted the screen where his face was pressed, pink and pitiful. Then she crept out of the room.

She started with the labs, hoping she would be able to avoid Peter VI if he was in any.

The third lab she searched made her pause. She found a fresh experiment still cooling on the table. A few crystals of Purple Matter remained in the dish. This must have been where he did it... was this what had driven him insane? She felt a lump in her throat. _Peter... was it worth it?_

"More or less," he replied.

Bunny whipped around, sure that her heart had stopped completely. He stood right behind her. She staggered with the suddenness of the turn and he caught her.

"Careful, now..." he said gently. She pushed him away.

_Peter... why did you do this? Why didn't you do more research before experimenting on yourself?_

"I didn't want to wait for the scientific method. Sometimes you just have to make a wild guess, take a chance... if something good is going to come out of it, something that can't wait..."

_What? What couldn't wait, Peter? Nothing is worth this!_

"Something is, to me... _"_ he murmured, taking her hand.

She didn't resist; she didn't dare. _But you have to let them go! They don't want new bodies, and they're afraid!_

He looked down. "It's gone too far, hasn't it? I... I'm sorry, Bunny. For everything... everything that's happened since you came here. The misunderstandings, this experiment, the kiss... Look, will you just let me tell you something? And then you can punch me and I'll go put them back and leave you alone ever after."

She was astonished. _Peter... I was just worried that you'd lost your mind... you don't have to leave me alone... just put them back!_

"You may change your mind after I've had my say. I know you don't like me at all... maybe even hate me..."

She shook her head. He smiled sadly. "I wanted you to understand. I didn't want you to think that I was shallow enough to fall in love with any woman who just happened to be able to get close to me... That isn't why I did... Oh, nuts. This isn't coming out right."

She had suspected, she realized. She had thought he might... _Peter... are you saying you..._

"Yes..." he said, voice trembling. "I'm saying I've fallen in love with you."

This was getting complicated. She looked at him. There was worry in his face, like someone expecting a blow. He was waiting for her to reject him.

Well, let it be complicated, she decided.

"I guess I just hoped you might... well... that you might at least like me enough to give me another chance. Can you? I don't expect you to love me..." His voice broke.

She touched his face again, this time because she wanted to do it. He put his hand over hers. "Bunny..." he whispered.

_I don't need to give you another chance, Peter. I never hated you. Well, not for long. I don't think anyone could make me as angry as you have unless I it was someone I cared about._

"Really?" he breathed. "You... care about me?"

She nodded.

"Do you... love me?"

She leaned forward shyly, heart pounding, and kissed him. He pulled her close with one arm. For a long, sweet moment, everything stood still.

Then his other arm moved. There was a sharp pain in her arm, like the sting of a bee. She gasped with her lips still on his and jerked away.

"I'm sorry, Bunny..." he said, pulling out the syringe.

The room started to wobble. _Peter! You lied to me..._

"I wasn't lying! I do love you! I did this for you..."

Her head buzzed. She sobbed weakly and fell as she tried to run. He knelt beside her and picked her up like a child.

"It's going to be alright, sweetheart. I'm going to make everything right. Just trust me."

She wanted to punch him but she couldn't seem to make a fist.

"It's alright, darling. Go to sleep."

 _Don't call me darling..._ The room was crumbling around her... at least, it looked that way. _You bas..._

The ceiling came down.


	16. The Madness of Peter Walter VI - pt 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All that's missing is Peter VI playing Bach on a pipe organ and monologuing about how "they all called me mad!"

"Hurry, Sam! Something's wrong..."

"Well, yeah..."

"No, something more. Something worse. I can feel it."

"Really? I won't ask how... Let me just find the right setting on the portal... It always gives me trouble."

The Jon sat on the floor and hugged his knees, trying to be patient. But the nagging feeling was tugging at his insides. Blue Matter had never done this to him. He thought that bit of purple must be the cause.

Then something struck his memory. Bunny.

She hadn't always been there.

He gasped as the memories rushed back. Where had she come from? Why did she think she had to hide it? He had been so afraid when she first came there, but he realized there hadn't been much reason to be. She hadn’t hurt anyone. She called them her brothers. It was pitiful, really. Tragic. She must have been desperate... Why was he remembering now?

"Sam..."

"It's gonna be a few minutes, Jon. Need to concentrate."

"Right." The sooner the better. He kept quiet.

Well, if Bunny was so desperate to live in Walter Manor, he wouldn’t give her away. But he couldn’t help wondering whether any of this was connected with her.

 

Bunny woke strapped to a chair. Peter was working at a computer. She felt terror... not just her own. She realized with a start that she could feel a lingering fear, someone else's fear...

_You put Rabbit here when you pulled him out of his body, didn't you?_

Peter turned from his console. "You always did have some connection to him, didn't you, darling?"

_Stop calling me that, you lunatic! Let me go!_

"Bunny! You said you loved me."

_No, I kissed you. That's different._

He stepped forward, leaned down to where her head was strapped in place, and kissed her firmly. "Doesn't feel different to me."

_Don't do that again!_

"Why not? Isn't that what people in love do?"

She had never in her life wanted so badly to scream, and she'd had some very good reasons over the years.

"You mean it, don't you?" he asked, suddenly frightened. "You want to leave me! I knew it, I knew you'd leave if I let you..."

He returned to his console. "Well, I don't have to let you!"

Her anger went cold... replaced by fear… and grief. He really had lost his mind. He had fooled her for a few minutes into thinking he was just being his usual misguided self… a few short, sweet minutes that had brought her to the realization that she did love him… too late! He had taken his science too far and snapped his mind, and he was going to destroy them all, given the chance.

_Peter... please just go wake Michael and tell him you need help... please..._

"No! I can't believe you now! You want to leave me! You want me to die!"

_Die?_

"I can't go on like that, with no one near me, no one touching me... They're all afraid, but you weren't... and you hate me! You lied! You hate me!"

_No, Peter... I don't... but you need help. Don't do this... get help..._

"I'll send you in with them! I'll make them new bodies and you can stay in there and never leave me ever!"

_What?_

He said nothing.

_Peter! That would kill me! You can't really just pull me from my body, can you?_

He still remained silent. Bunny struggled, terror taking over. He was going to do something... whether it would work or not, she was going to be just as dead. She could feel it.

And she couldn't even scream.

_I won’t be able to touch you in there, either, Peter…_ she tried desperately.

“But you’d stay. I love you…”

_Are you in there anywhere? The real you? Please, Peter… think…_

He just shook his head and kept working. It was no use!

_Don’t… don’t do this… don’t be like_ him _…_

Heartbroken, frightened out of her mind, she opened her mouth desperately, but all that came out was a hiss. She sobbed and thought she heard something... or did she feel it? She threw everything she had into it as he turned toward her and placed a headset on her head.

A thin scream tore from her throat, building into a shriek of pure panic. She screamed until her breath ran out, took another breath, and began again, half afraid that she'd forget now that she had learned how.

He covered his ears. "Stop it! You're not supposed to be able to do that! It's not going to change anything, anyway."

He put a pair of headphones on to muffle the sound, and began to type into his computer.

Bunny's throat was on fire but she kept screaming. Even if nothing came of it, she would scream while she still had breath.

 

  
"Michael! Steve! Matt!"

The three men jerked awake at the sound of The Jon and Sam shouting their names.

"What in the name of sanity is going on?" cried Sam, staring at the screen.

Rabbit was trying to speak. The Spine took over. "We're trapped in here... I can't remember much. I know my name, and theirs, and I think I used to be something else... My name is The Spine…"

Sam gasped. "Who did this to you?"

"His name's Peter..."

"Oh, yeah..." said Michael, smiling. "Yeah, Peter's gonna make 'em new bodies. It's absolute genius."

"Michael, what's come over you? That's not genius, that's insanity!" cried The Jon.

"Wow, that's eerie. Did he just use complete sentences?" asked Steve.

"Not now, Steve! Something's very wrong!"

"Everything's fine... except that I'm starving."

Matt and Michael nodded. The Jon cried, "Everything is not fine!"

"Sure it is! Peter said..."

"Then Peter's gone crazy! Don’t believe him!"

Sam saw a flash of purple light reflect off of the other three men. They blinked, dazed.

"Oh, my gosh... Peter's crazy. How did I not notice that? What have we been doing all night?"

“Playing virtual pets with Hatchworth…” said Steve, shaking his head.

"My head hurts," mumbled Matt.

“Where’s Peter now?” asked The Jon.

“I dunno… we fell asleep.” Michael looked around. “Hey, looks like the girls are back.”

Bunny’s bag still sat on the floor. The Spine said, “Bunny said she was going to get help. The other girls weren’t worried, but she was. That was a long time ago…”

“She could be anywhere in the Manor. So could he,” said Sam.

“Well, let’s start by getting their bodies out of the vault,” said Michael. “I can’t believe we helped him…”

“We need to find Bunny first! This has something to do with her. She’s in trouble…” Jon said.

They stared at him. “Well,” said Steve. “You do have a funny way of being right about this stuff. But where do we start?”

“We helped Peter move the bodies out of one of the labs,” said Matt. “Maybe he’ll be in that one.”

“Which one?” asked Sam.

“I still don’t know my way around this place…”

“I think it was in the east wing,” said Michael.

“Well, let’s start there, then…”


	17. The Madness of Peter Walter VI - pt 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter is sent straight to Hell... no, not like that...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Robots run really fast.

Bunny didn’t know if she could scream anymore. She was going to die at the very least. She might even end up in a computer as planned, if Peter’s clever scientific mind still had any genius left in it. Mad genius, but still.

She coughed and summoned one last try. Maybe there was someone close enough to hear… But who? No one else was worried in the least, no one would be looking for her. They’d see her on the TV and come along in time to have the body taken away.

“It’s ready!” he muttered.

The scream came unbidden this time, a shriek of pure terror. Peter turned, eyes wide. He seemed surprised.

The Jon pelted into the room. He snatched the headset off and threw it against the wall, smashing it to pieces.

“No! What did you do, Jon?” screamed Peter. “It was all ready to go!”

Jon positioned himself between Bunny and Peter. “What did _you_ do, Peter?” he demanded. “You’ve stolen my brothers and turned me into a freak! Now you’re gonna kill Bunny?”

“She was going to leave me! I did all this for her and she was going to leave me!” His eyes were wide and… frightened? His voice broke as he cried, “I can’t let her leave me!”

“But she can… she’s not even from here, right?”

Bunny squeaked in surprise. The Jon turned a quick smile on her and looked back at Peter.

“I wouldn’t blame her for leaving… but I know a way to stop her.”

“You do?” asked Peter, suddenly quiet. It was even creepier than his screaming.

“Let me fix what you broke.”

“I didn’t break anything!”

“You did. You broke your vortex, Peter.”

Peter jumped up from his seat. “It isn’t _my_ vortex! It was never meant to be part of me! I got rid of it! I’m better now!”

“No, Peter. It happened. It was an accident, but it was part of you. If you could really undo it, I’m sure you would have… but you didn’t. You can’t be rid of it just by pushing it onto someone else.”

“What are you talking about?”

“It’s here.”

“No!” Peter scrambled backward, ducking behind his chair.

The Jon shrugged off his suspenders, unbuttoned his shirt and opened the chest panel beneath. Bunny couldn’t see what Peter saw, but it sent him into hysterics. He threw himself to the floor and covered his face with his arms.

“Get it away!” he sobbed. “I won’t let you trap me in that Hell again!”

Bunny struggled with her restraints. The Jon turned in surprise and hastily threw the switch to set her free. She ran to Peter.

_Peter…_

“No! Make him take it away!”

 _No, Peter. I can’t. I… wish I could._ She wiped her eyes. Why was she comforting him? He’d nearly murdered her! But the sight of him weeping with terror cut her to the very center.

As if hearing her thoughts, The Jon said, “He doesn’t understand, Bunny. If we put the vortex back… maybe we’ll both go back to what we were. Not everyone is cut out for my level of silliness. Some things don’t mix.”

She didn’t know what in Bob’s name he was talking about, but she got one thing… The Jon thought he might be able to put Peter back the way he was before. But Peter was terrified…. It would break her heart to do it, but the alternative was worse.

She nodded. Peter scrambled away from them both and picked up a wrench, wielding it like a hatchet as he got to his feet and backed toward the doorway.

The others ran in soon after and tackled him before they had the chance to register the presence of the wrench. Peter didn’t have time to strike before he was pinned to the floor under three musicians and a sound engineer.

He screamed and thrashed like the madman he had become.

“Hold him down!” cried The Jon.

The men scrambled out of the tangled heap and each held a limb. Peter rolled his eyes in terror. Bunny crept near his head and put her hands on his face. He felt feverish, but her hands were cool. He looked up at her pleadingly. Her tears dripped onto his hair and she ran her sleeve across her eyes.

“I just hope this works,” murmured The Jon. He knelt beside Peter, who looked at him with tears in his eyes.

“Please don’t,” he whispered. “I’ll be alone again…”

Bunny choked back a sob, and looked at Jon instead of Peter. He’d look the same to her in the end… but the fear in his eyes now was too much to bear.

The Jon reached into his vortex and gently slid his koi to the side. A thin stream of blue flowed past it. Jon held his hand under it like it was water. The humans looked away from the brightness. Peter sobbed like a child.

“I’m sorry,” Jon whispered. He held up the Blue Matter and it seemed drawn toward Peter, toward its natural place. Bunny couldn’t help looking once more.

As Peter thrashed and wept, it moved across his face in a swirl. Bunny could see the gleam of blue seem to soak into his flesh and fade, but she knew that to anyone else, there was no face, only blue light. When the flow at last stopped, Jon’s koi drifted peacefully back into place with the hot dog. The Jon smiled benignly.

“Did I do good, Bunny?”

The men let go of Peter, but stayed near, waiting to see if he did anything crazy. Peter rolled onto his side, blue light flickering all around him. He stared at nothing, but his rapid breathing showed he was conscious.

She nodded and patted Jon’s hand.

“It’s okay if you wanna live here, Bunny. You don’t hafta lie anymore. I forgive you.”

She smiled at Jon. He got up and walked out. Just like that.

_Peter?_

Peter closed his eyes. “Go away.”

_No. Tell me you’re alright. Show me you’re back to the way you were!_

“I am.” He burst into fresh sobs. “I… what did I do? What did I do to you? I almost… I’m so sorry…!”

“Bunny?” said Sam softly. “We’re gonna go get the robots out of the vault.”

She nodded and looked toward the doorway meaningfully, and they all got up and quietly walked out, each giving them one last look as he left.

She eased Peter’s head onto her lap and stroked his hair as he cried.


	18. The Madness of Peter Walter VI - epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which they all lived... um, well, not so happily... not ever... after. They definitely lived after. That's actually kind of a big deal, though...

The Walter Girls, fortunately, forgot Peter’s reprogramming as soon as his vortex was restored, and insisted on performing the restoration of the robots to their bodies, followed by the upload of Rabbit’s voice. It was weeks before Rabbit had finished milking the situation of all the sympathy he could get from Paige and started trying in vain to teach Bunny to speak… it seemed that while she did have a voice, learning to form words after twenty-five years of silence was another matter.

Not that Rabbit’s nervous state had been totally insincere. The Spine, too, was fairly unsettled by his experience, mostly by his having forgotten who he was. Hatchworth, other than having a tendency to throw a ball and expect it to return of its own accord, seemed to be unaffected.

Things were strained with everyone, for a while. Everyone knew Peter hadn’t done any of it in his right mind, at least, not after he’d used purple matter to force his vortex through a rift and lodge it in The Jon’s, sending his sanity with it. Michael Reed promised to study it and try to figure out what had happened… later. For now, though, he, Steve and Matt were on a camping trip... if going to the beach in a tour bus full of video games counted as camping. They had insisted it was their turn after all the insanity. Literally.

Peter was more remote and reclusive than ever. Bunny was worried. If his loneliness had driven him to experiment on himself, what would it do to him now? They hadn’t spoken since that day. He had stayed there for a little while, letting her comfort him. But in time he had brushed her hand away, whispered one last broken apology, gotten up from the floor and walked out without looking back.

She couldn’t really blame him.

The Jon had told her, before returning to Biscuit Town, that she shouldn’t take anything he had said seriously, that he hadn’t been himself. He had thought he was being comforting, and for the most part he was. She didn’t let him know how deeply it hurt her.

Did he mean _everything?_ She had found out a lot about herself that day. But she had only found it out because…

Because he had said he loved her.

Had it _all_ been madness? It usually was, she realized… but not literally!

A month after the incident, she decided she had to do something. If he was still trying to get rid of the vortex, or growing more and more wrapped up in his misery… either one was dangerous. She volunteered to take lunch to him with difficulty; the other girls seemed to think it was a bad idea and tried to talk her out of it. A sharp glare silenced their protests. She didn’t know whether it was her fearsome grimace or the sight of her red-rimmed eyes that stopped them. She didn’t care.

She found Peter in his usual position, hunched over a desk. But instead of writing in a scientific journal, he had his head propped on his hands and was staring at a map.

_Peter?_

The chair shot out from under him and he nearly slammed his chin into the desk. He clung to the top of it and scrambled to get his feet under him.

“Bunny!” he gasped.

She put down the tray and hurried to help him. _Are you alright?_

“Fine!” He shrugged her off. “I’m just fine. Thanks for bringing me lunch.” He grabbed his chair and sat down again at the desk.

She felt as though she’d been slapped. She turned to leave… and stopped. Of _course_ he’d react that way. She sighed.

_I forgive you, Peter. You weren’t in control of it._

He slammed the desk, making her jump.

“It was still me! I _should_ have been in control of it!”

 _Peter!_ She turned, wide-eyed, to look at him. He was staring down at the desk.

“You could have died…”

_But I didn’t…_

“No thanks to me! If Jon had arrived five seconds later, you’d be dead.”

_It was an accident! If you’d been sick and I caught it and died, would you blame yourself?_

“Well… yeah…”

She blinked. _You’re just not alive unless you’re down on yourself, are you?_

“Bunny…”

_If I can forgive you for all of it, why can’t you forgive yourself?_

“I don’t know! I haven’t had much practice.”

_Poor Peter…_

“No… don’t pity me. That’s worse.”

She smiled. _I guess I just kind of understand. Fine, hate yourself if you want._

“Gee, thanks.”

He surprised her by chuckling. He leaned forward and knocked his mask on the desk.

“Why am I laughing? I don’t deserve to laugh.”

_Absolutely. You’re a monster who perverts the ways of science. Just tell me something… I really need to understand._

“What is it?”

_How much of it was you? Don’t start feeling sorry for yourself again, just be straight with me._

“Aw, come on…”

_And take off the stupid mask already. You don’t need it with me._

“I’m used to it,” he murmured. He took it off.

Same face, same blue flicker. She smiled.

_Alright, start talking._

“Well, crap… which things?”

_I think you know…_

“I didn’t mean to try and kill you, and I don’t mean to replace the robots’ bodies… what else is there?”

_Everything else._

He looked away. “That. Would it matter?”

_How much do you remember, Peter?_

“Enough,” he whispered. “You’re better off just leaving things as they are.”

_Don’t I have a say in that?_

“We both do.”

_Yeah, I guess we do. Then let me have my say. I meant what I said in the lab. I meant that kiss. I didn’t know it until then… I… do love you._

Her face was burning. _That’s all. Except that I really do forgive you. It’s okay now. You don’t need to change anything, not for me, anyway._

He was still staring at the desk. She forced herself to go on.

_Come and talk to me if you need to… don’t stay in here getting more and more lonely. I hate to think of you being all alone when you don’t want to be._

She smiled, but tears stung her eyes. He put his hands over his face.

_I guess that’s all. I’ll go now._

She turned, her heart pounding painfully. The tears that had been prickling started down her cheeks.

She’d done it. She felt like she’d run a marathon, but she’d done it.

She walked out. He made no move to stop her.


	19. What now?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter actually takes someone's advice.

Bunny woke with a start. She was shaking. It was still dark. She looked around the room, but there isn't much to see in the dark...

Someone was there.

"I'm sorry..." a voice whispered.

 _Peter?_ She was afraid. _Please be Peter!_

"Yes... it's me."

She could just make out his shape in the doorway, faintly lit blue by a tiny gap in his mask.

She clicked on the light and winced as it hit her eyes. He looked sheepish, or as sheepish as he could look with his face covered.

"You... asked me to come talk to you if I felt lonely..."

She had. She just couldn't believe he'd actually done it.

_Of course! Come in!_

He shuffled in and closed the door behind him. Her heart gave a little jump as he did, but she forced herself not to read anything into it... he probably just didn't want anyone to hear them talking. He sat awkwardly in her plush chair.

_Why don't you go to sleep at night, Peter? I mean, instead of staying up getting lonely? I can't see how anyone could get lonely here._

"It's different... it's just... I have trouble sleeping. I have to lay on my back... and I can never get my brain to shut off anyway. I lay there and look at the patterns in the darkness."

_The what?_

"You don't see them?"

_Um...  
_

"I haven't done anymore experiments, I'm not crazy. All my life, when I'm really tired, sometimes, when I turn out the lights, I can see changing patterns in front of my eyes. They don't keep me awake... It's so quiet. I like it quiet, but it's like it's pounding in my ears."

_So maybe play music?_

"No, see that _does_ keep me awake."

_Oh. Well... Why don't we go downstairs and watch a movie or something?_

"Rabbit and Paige are in there. Paige fell asleep while watching '2001'."

_He's watching that again? I don't blame her!_

He laughed a very tired laugh. She hadn't known what a tired laugh sounded like until she heard him.

_Peter, what time is it?_

"Uh... three in the morning."

_Well, shoot! Come here._

"What?"

_I'm not going to attack you. Just come here. Maybe you'll be able to get to sleep if you're not alone._

He stayed where he was. "I'm not sure that's a good idea..."

 _Oh, grow up!_ She sighed and got out of bed. She yanked off his sandals and pulled him to his feet.

_Come on, night night time. Maybe the others will find out where you spent the night and we can troll them._

"Or Rabbit and The Spine will turn me into a pile of meat."

_Of course, you wicked man. Serve you right, too._

She led him to the bed and reached for the mask. He leaned away.

"I don't want to absorb your pillow..."

_You can do that? What else can that thing do? Peter, have you ever thought of selling tickets?_

"Bunny..."

_Sorry. Alright, keep it on. Come on._

He meekly climbed into the bed. She clicked off the light and climbed in beside him.

_There, see? No funny stuff. Go to sleep._

He settled in on his back. Bunny was glad they had nice roomy beds... he was skinny but he wasn't small. She curled up with her back to him but couldn't get into a comfortable position to sleep in the room she had.

"Bunny... maybe I'd better go to my own room."

She sat up. _Do you have one? I thought you slept on desks exclusively._

"No, I have a room... It's kinda dusty, but I can sleep in it."

_You can lay down, but can you sleep?_

"I... I think I can," he murmured.

She felt a little tug of dismay, but pushed it off. _It's up to you. I'll be fine if you want to sleep here._

He didn't move. She smiled.

_Changed your mind?_

His breathing, amplified by the mask, had slowed. She realized he was already asleep.

 _Awww..._ She could just make out his shape in the darkness. She sighed and ruffled his fair hair. He snorted softly and turned his head away. 

_Now how do I sleep?_ She had about half the bed, but it was a full and she was used to having all of it. If she rolled onto her side away from him... but she'd tried that. If she laid on her back, her arm would have to lay across his elbow; besides, she hated sleeping on her back. She could just get up... but it was so early!

She looked down at his dark form and sighed. What was more, she didn't really want to get up yet. There was one sleep position she hadn't tried. 

He was sound asleep. He wouldn't notice how she had decided to fit until he woke up. Maybe then... but no.

She knew he felt something for her, maybe not as strongly as when he'd lost his mind, but something! She'd taken a risk bringing him into her bed to sleep.... But then, it had worked.

She snuggled onto her other side and tucked her lower arm under her pillow. Her free arm she draped lightly over his stomach.

He fidgeted in his sleep and put his hand on her arm. Bunny's heart pounded.

_Now I won't be able to sleep..._

But at least she was comfortable.


	20. Oopsy...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All kinds of things go on in bedrooms... yah, you wish...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo." - Groucho Marx

Bunny woke up. Light was slanting into her room. Her arm was asleep. Her pillow wasn't very comfortable. It was too hard and kept rising and falling. And it had a heartbeat...

She startled and tried to lean away, but something was behind her. It tightened in response to her movement. She heard a soft snore and settled uneasily back into place, even though she had a wicked crick in her neck.

This...  _this_ was why she didn't like to make decisions when she was tired.

_Well,_ Bunny, she thought. _What now?_

Her arm was still over him. The other arm was now under her and was starting to ache, where she could still feel it. And if she was right, Peter wouldn't be fully rested for hours yet. How long did geniuses sleep? She heard some didn't sleep more than a few hours a night, but she didn't know if this was need or just really bad habits.

"Bunny..." murmured Peter.

_Oh, goody..._

"Pass me the chihuahua..." Well, it sounded like chihuahua. He trailed off into mumbling.

_How sweet. That's right from the heart right there... my arm is killing me..._

The door clicked open. "Bunny? Did I hear... Oh! I'm sorry!"

Peter fidgeted in his sleep. Bunny twisted her head around as quickly as she dared and saw Paige gaping at them. Her head was bent slightly to one side as thought it hurt her. Bunny quickly shushed her and made the sign for "help," or as close as she could do with one hand.

"What?" asked Paige quietly, wide eyes taking in the scene. "I'm sorry, I can't remember what that one is... oh my gosh, my mind has totally gone blank... what... No, don't even try to tell me... oh, you can't tell me! I'm sorry..."

_Why? Why is she in hysterics? It's just not a sexy scene here... His clothes are all on, my clothes are all on, there's a little drool on his stomach... oh, cripes, that's mine..._

Bunny gave up and waved Paige out. Whatever. She tipped her chin up away from the drool puddle and laid her head back on his chest.

Everyone would know soon anyway, and she figured they'd assume the worst. She just had to decide how to keep The Spine from killing Peter. She was pretty sure she could handle Rabbit. They'd both been watching Peter the way a vulture watches a very sick wildebeest ever since the first day she and Peter had met.

But Paige shut the door and crept further in. Bunny could hear her take a deep breath. "Alright, first shock over. I think I've got this. He came in last night all messed up inside and you felt sorry for him and snuggled him to help him sleep?"

_What? Well, close enough._

"He usually wakes up Michael Reed and plays video games... thought I once found him snuggling Lil Steve." She smiled. "Oh, that must hurt... I should know. Rabbit decided to carry me to my room and snuggle in beside me. I must have rolled off my pillow and up against him in the night. My neck is killing me... Here."

Paige reached over and carefully lifted Peter's arm off of Bunny. Fortunately he had moved into another phase of sleep and his arm was limp. Bunny reached out her free arm and Paige gave her a hand up... Bunny's other arm wasn't obeying commands at the moment. She rubbed it and looked down at Peter. He hadn't moved. He really did have to sleep on his back. The mask looked very painful to lay on.

"Get your stuff and you can get dressed in my room."

Paige helped her gather her uniform and they crept out. In Paige's room, Bunny was surprised to see Rabbit still weighing down one side of Paige's bed. He had his hands folded behind his head and looked as though he'd been up to something. He always looked that way.

"Oh, you're awake," said Paige uncomfortably. She took a step back and tugged Bunny's door shut.

"Online and r-r-ready for trouble, baby!"

"There's gonna be trouble if you don't get up. That bed's about to break."

"What?" cried Rabbit. "Nah, it's strong! Pappy bought this one b-b-back when they made things right! See?"

To prove his point, he bounced.

_Oh, no..._

Snap!

"Rabbit!" cried Paige.

"Yeah... um, see, any crummier b-b-bed would have broken completely..." Rabbit began with a nervous little giggle. He slipped to the floor and looked. "Yeah, see, just one board..."

"Yeah, the one holding up that whole side of the bed, Rabbit!" Paige stared. "Oh! You snapped it clean through!"

"It's okay, baby! I'll fix it, I promise!"

"How?"

Bunny shook her head and giggled, glad that she was silent.

"I guess we're gonna hafta g-g-get a new board... I better ask Petes if we have any around the place."

_Oh, boy..._

"Oh! No, why not ask Michael?" Paige said quickly, looking swiftly at Bunny.

"He ain't home. Went on that campin' trip with Steve an' Matt." Rabbit stood up.

"Oh, right. Well, I can check around..." said Paige, stepping into the center of the doorway.

He walked up and kissed her quickly before lifting her easily out of the way.

"Nah, I'm gonna do the right thing, baby. I'll confess that I broke it an' f-f-fix it." His head tilted a little to one side, triggering his wifi, as he walked toward the stairs, Paige and Bunny following. "Spine says he doesn't know where Petes is today..."

"Well, we'll help you look... I think I last saw him on the top floor."

"The Spine says he's not. I'll ask Hatchy."

He tilted his head again. "He ain't in the kitchen. Thanks a lot, Hatchy. Look around a little, dumb'ns."

"Well, let's look in the office wing. Hey, Bunny, why don't you go get dressed while we look," Paige called over her shoulder, winking.

_Oh... duh._ Bunny turned back and slipped quietly into her room. Peter had rolled a little to the side, his hand gripping the blanket. She looked at him for a long moment. It would take Rabbit and the others a while to search the manor. He could sleep a few more minutes. She stepped behind her folding curtain to dress.

She'd made it to the crinolines when she heard him mumbling in his sleep.

"No... That's wrong..." He sounded distressed.

_Oh, boy_. She grabbed her dress and started to wrestle it around her back.

"Bunny..."

_Again?_

"I can't... I can't stop it... chain reaction..." He sounded like he was crying.

Great. Genius nightmares. She started hastily on the buttons. Why were there so many?

"Run! Run! It's going critical!" he screamed.

_Aw, crap! They're gonna hear him!_ She ran out, dress flapping open at the top, and fumbled with his mask. Tossing it aside, she clapped her hand over his mouth just as he started to shriek in terror.

His eyes popped open and he grabbed her hand away. He stared at her, eyes wild.

"I can't stop it!" he cried. Before she could ask what, he had grabbed her, thrown her to the floor, and thrown himself over her.

_Ow... Um, Peter, you're awake now. Can I get up?_

"Awake?" he gasped, scrambling off of her awkwardly.

_Yeah... ow... that's my..._

"Oh! I'm sorry!" he cried, pulling his hand away. "Your top is... is..."

He sat up and stared at her.

"I was having a nightmare...."

_Yeah, you were._ She clutched her uniform around her bust.

"You think that was a nightmare?" said a deep, angry voice. "I think I can do better."

Peter was lifted like a doll into the air.

"Spine! What!" he squeaked. The Spine was gripping the front of his shirt, his hand carefully clear of the blue matter vortex above it. His expression sent chills down Bunny's spine.

"I'll give you one minute to explain why Bunny is on the floor with her dress wide open before I put an end to the Walter family line!"

Bunny jumped up and shook her head at him. He looked down at her and his angry, terrifying expression lightened for a moment.

"Bunny... Did he hurt you?"

"Spine! Please! When have I ever done anything to hurt her?"

"Ya want a list?" he snarled.

"But I didn't do anything to her!"

"Not yet, you mean..."

"No! I was asleep! I was having a bad dream! She..."

He trailed off. Bunny understood why. He was just making it look worse.

"How long have you been in here, Peter?" By the sound of it, Peter's answer would determine how long he had to live.

Peter stared, and sighed weakly. "Then just go ahead and kill me, Spine. I've... I've been here since last night."

_Idiot! Tell him why!_

The Spine glowered at him. Peter shut his eyes tightly. Bunny jumped forward and caught hold of The Spine's free arm and held on for dear life. For someone's dear life, anyway.

She looked at The Spine desperately. He looked back. She couldn't explain that nothing had happened. Peter, for some reason, was content to die rather than explain it. Would The Spine really kill him? That was both terrifying and rather touching, she thought with a stab of guilt.

He raised an eyebrow. His eyes flicked questioningly to Peter and back. She made the sign for "love" and placed it over her chest, then looked at Peter. The Spine looked at him, too. Did he understand?

With a sigh, he dropped Peter to the floor. Bunny hurried to help him stand up.

"Thank you," Peter gasped.

"Thank _her._ I'll be in the Hall of Wires." To Bunny's surprise, he kissed the top of her head and stalked out.

Peter sank to the bed, suddenly trembling. He put his face in his hands as his breath came faster. "He was gonna kill me! The Spine was gonna _kill_ me!"

_Why didn't you tell him the truth, dummy?_

"You saw him! He wouldn't have believed me..."

Bunny hastily fastened up a few more buttons before sitting next to him. She put her arm around him and rubbed his back until he grew calmer. He looked at her.

"He said to thank you. How did you stop him?"

She smiled.

"What?"

_Nothing..._

"What? Seriously? I may need it someday."

She broke into giggles. Her face was burning.

"Did you tell him something? Sign something? You did, you told him..." He stopped.

She winked. He looked surprised, then confused. He shook his head.

"Aw, come on! What was it?"

_Some_ genius. She took his hand.

He closed his fingers around hers. "Oh..."

She gave his hand a little squeeze, and smiled up at him. He leaned toward her a little and stopped, his brow furrowed in apparent fear.

Bunny saw his fear and understood. She lifted her face to his, closed the gap. He flinched a little as their lips touched.

_It's alright, Peter. You can't hurt me this way._

He relaxed. His arms slipped around her, one hand clinging to the fabric of her uniform as though to a lifeline, the other entwined in her hair as his his lips pressed into hers, hesitation gone.

_It was true, then... It wasn't just the madness_ talking.

She realized she was crying. He drew away, his arms still around her, and looked at her tears.

"Bunny, what is it? Are you actually crying because... because of me?" He hesitated. "Again?"

_It's different this time... Jon said it was the madness... that you didn't mean anything you said or did that day. I guess I thought he meant everything._

"No," he whispered, pressing his forehead against hers. "Not everything. Though you'd be better off if it was true..."

_Oh, shut up._ She sniffled loudly.

"What... Petes, what d-d-did you do this time?"

Rabbit stared at them from the doorway. Paige was beside him with one hand around his arm and her other hand over her mouth, her eyes dancing with suppressed amusement.

"Here we go again," Peter murmured, not moving.

_This one should be easier._

"Maybe..." Peter sighed, rubbing his neck.

_I'll show you._

Bunny sighed and put both arms tightly around Peter and looked directly at Rabbit. His face relaxed into his familiar lopsided smile as Peter rested his head against hers.

"Aw, well, that's different, ain't it?" Apparently his perception of doing harm to his sister differed from The Spine's. "Hey, Petes, I broke Paige's bed this mornin' an' I n-n-need ta fix it."

"You what?"

Peter turned and stared at Rabbit.

"Yeah... it was weird. It held us both all n-n-n-night an' then it just breaks for no reason..."

"I'm still asleep," Peter murmured.

"Huh?"

"I didn't realize you'd expanded your horizons so much, Rabbit. I hope you didn't break Paige too."

"Well, I am a little sore," she said, winking and rubbing her neck. Bunny grinned against Peter's shoulder.

"Hey, I didn't do that! I was r-r-real careful with Paige! I only broke the bed!"

Paige gave up and exploded with laughter.

"What? I wanna fix it. I promise I'll be more careful next time."

"Stop, no more," said Peter. "It's too early in the morning..."

"It's 9:30, Peter," Paige said, rolling her eyes.

"Whatever. Alright, let's go see the damage."

Bunny gave him one last squeeze, a quick kiss, and let him go. He grinned and scooped up his mask, putting it on as he walked out. Rabbit followed, still looking puzzled.

Paige hurried over to her. "That looks so bizarre. You kissed a blue matter vortex! That shouldn't even be possible."

She shrugged and smiled. Let it look how it looked. It hadn't felt bizarre.

"Wait... you were thinkin'... Hey, I ain't that k-k-kinda robut!" Rabbit roared, suddenly indignant, in the next room. "That's sick, Petes!"

"No, Rabbit, I never really thought..."

"I don't know how you fleshies can do that stuff, that's just weird..."

"You've been watching Futurama with Steve."

"You two wanna do it, fine. Just don't hurt her. She's been hurt enough..."

"Rabbit!" Peter hissed. "She can _hear_ you..."

"Wow!" giggled Paige, eyes on Bunny. "A blushing mime... Where's my camera?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone else wish they had someone like The Spine around to put the hurt on baddies? That would be sweet.


End file.
